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Sun's Simon Phipps Answers ESR On Java 707

Posted by timothy
from the lots-of-air-moving dept.
comforteagle writes "Sun's Chief Technology Officer Simon Phipps has answered Eric Raymond's open letter calling on Sun to open source Java." In the quoted response, Phipps says (condensed) "I'd say this is 100 per cent rant... His simplistic accusations don't hold water... If this is the way that Open Source treats its friends, I'd hate to see how it treats its enemies... It's pretty difficult to respond to this. He's so out of touch."
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Sun's Simon Phipps Answers ESR On Java

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:18PM (#8319085)
    He's great on American Idol. I bet he really rips into ESR!
  • by twoslice (457793) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:18PM (#8319087)
    If this is the way that Open Source treats its friends, I'd hate to see how it treats its enemies... [sco.com]
  • by Yoda2 (522522) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:18PM (#8319089)
    Shame I can't see the article - /.ed already!
  • by Stradenko (160417) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:19PM (#8319092) Homepage
    An open letter from RMS [stallman.org] to clarify the situation and convince Mr. Phipps that the free software community loves him and that the open source community does not accurately represent our opinions.
  • by slutdot (207042) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:20PM (#8319101)
    So is the website...
  • by sulli (195030) * on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:22PM (#8319136) Journal
    Applet Loading...

    Applet Loading...

    Applet Loading...

    Applet Loading...

    "I'd say this is 100 per cent rant... His simplistic accusations don't hold water... If this is the way that Open Source treats its

    Warning:Simon Phipps has made an illegal operation. The application will be terminated.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:25PM (#8319169)
    you are an out-of-touch communist tree-hugger.
  • GNU/RMS (Score:2, Funny)

    by FreakyGeeky (23009) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:26PM (#8319184)
    With those kinds of comments, I thought he was talking about GNU/RMS.

  • by Trigun (685027) <evil AT evilempire DOT ath DOT cx> on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:27PM (#8319193)
    And in other news, Simon Phillips wins the "Understatement of the year" award, also known as the "GNU/Understatement of the year" award
  • Sun on IBM (Score:5, Funny)

    by Aardpig (622459) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:29PM (#8319221)

    IBM is just wrapping itself in the flag, but it still behaves like an old-fashioned systems company. Sun is actually taking the risks

    Of course, it all suddenly becomes clear! Sun are taking all the risks, by investing so much time and effort in Linux development. That's why SCO are suing them, rather than those Johnny-come-latelys at IBM.

    Wait a moment....

  • by dinog (582015) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:30PM (#8319232)
    You're right, this is a major problem. Certainly we can't have a normal slashdot discussion if people actually read the article first.

    Dean G.

  • by Losat (643653) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:30PM (#8319238)
    And people wonder why slashdot posters never read the article before posting. We try; we want to; but we kill the poor article host.
  • by Kenja (541830) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:32PM (#8319255)
    "Is that all they're teaching folks in MBA school anymore? Don't respond to valid arguments and criticism; instead, discredit your detractors by branding them as "out of touch" or "communist" or a "tree hugger"."

    I'd explain it to you, but there's no way an out of touch communist tree hugger such as yourself would understand.

  • by Short Circuit (52384) <mikemol@gmail.com> on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:33PM (#8319277) Homepage Journal
    No, that should be: "If this is the way Open Source treats its friends, I'd hate to see how it treats its litigious bastards [sco.com].

    But that doesn't sound quite right, does it?
  • Uh huh. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Minwee (522556) <dcr@neverwhen.org> on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:35PM (#8319307) Homepage
    'In fact, Sun has contributed more to Open Source than anybody else bar Berkeley.'

    I think he's right there. The high performance and ease of use of Sun's C Compiler did more to promote GCC than anything those GNU folks ever did. Their tireless efforts to provide an unusable toolkit and utilities throughout the lifecycle of SunOS and Solaris only proves their support for open source alternatives.
  • FUCK ESR! (Score:0, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:41PM (#8319394)

    ESR rubbed his tender belly. He knew he would have to visit the doctor soon; it could not wait any longer. He groaned as his abdomen throbbed. His knees buckled and he keeled over to vomit into the toilet. Once the nausea passed, he pulled down his sweat-pants to check his underwear for blood. Still none. Damn.

    Dr. Zewicky entered the room smiling, "I have good news for you, Mr. SR,"

    ESR smiled hopefully.

    "You are three months pregnant!"

    ESR broke down in tears. His mind swam in a sea of confusion. He held his head in his hands as he sobbed uncontrollably.

    Dr. Zewicky put his hand on ESR's shoulder, "there, there... this is a joyous occassion!"

    ESR looked up at the doctor, trying to regain his composure. He wiped the tears from his cheek, "but doctor, it's father is RMS!"

    Dr. Zewicky's face grew heavy, "I see. As you know, it would be medical malpractice, neigh, crimes against humanity, if I failed to convince you to get an abortion."

    ESR looked at the floor as the doctor pulled on his rubber gloves, "I'm going to have to ask you to stand up and bend over the table, Miss."

    Natalie Portman sat in the waiting room at Dr. Zewicky's office. She wondered if the tests would finally show some lowering in her pheromone levels. Her eyes wandered nervously around the room. She saw something interesting hanging on the wall opposite her. She got up to examine the picture more closely.

    Natalie giggled at the absurd image. A fat, pale, sweating man was bent over a table. His greasy hair was plastered to his head. A large, rubber-gloved hand was holding a grossly obese fetus. The umbilical chord was still attached and ran up into the bleeding rectum of the fat loser. The fetus wore a pan-flute on a chain around its neck.

    Natalie giggled.

    The air conditioner suddenly hummed into operation. Natalie felt the cool air blowing from a vent she was standing under. Every male in the room looked with widened eyes at the young actress as the pheromones wafted through the room.

  • by Short Circuit (52384) <mikemol@gmail.com> on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:49PM (#8319509) Homepage Journal
    Well, a lot of people were pissed off that he put Linux under the GPL.

    But personally, I see it as a good thing.
  • I agree! (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @03:56PM (#8319572)
    Why doesn't ESR put his ramblings in CVS first?
  • by madpierre (690297) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @04:00PM (#8319616) Homepage Journal
    Slightly off topic but ...
    This book (i'm currenty reading) should be of interest to Geeks looking for sex.

    Growing up With Lucy
    How to Build an Android in 20 Easy Steps
    By Steve Grand.

    Just a thought ;)
  • by orthogonal (588627) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @04:08PM (#8319698) Journal
    nice. how does it go?

    "Counted, counted, and you're time is up?"


    The Aramaic words "Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin" may be translated literally as, "It has been counted and counted, weighed and divided."

    But in an effort to reach out to modern readers, a newer and more accessible translation (which nevertheles retains for metrical reasons the Old English form "belongen") renders it as:

    "Pwned, Pwnded, make your time, to us are belongen all your base."
  • by TALlama (462873) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @04:08PM (#8319700) Homepage
    At least he likes Jaegermeister, I hear.
    So he's useful as a bad-beer disposal service, then?
  • by kfg (145172) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @04:09PM (#8319706)
    Whoooooooooooooosh!

    Yes, that was the sound of the joke going right over most reader's heads.

    Making your parenthetical point I suppose.

    KFG
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @04:18PM (#8319856)
    > ESR should shut up and pick up a copy of the Java standard, and then start
    > coding with the other open source java projects if he really wants to help.

    Yeah, I don't get it. What is he for?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @04:19PM (#8319880)
    > Founding member of the OSI.

    Oh, please. That's like saying that I'm the President, CEO, and Founder of Anonymous Coward International. Anyone can found a club with 1 member.
  • by RetroGeek (206522) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @04:22PM (#8319917) Homepage
    That's my story, and I'm sticking with it :-)
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @04:45PM (#8320184)
    written by ncm, at http://advogato.org/article/752.html

    Many languages have failed honorably -- Eiffel, Dylan, Oberon, Icon, CLP(R), C+@, Oak, PL/1, Bliss, Algol-68, Pascal -- some more honorably, some less, but far too many to list, or indeed to count. Others struggle vainly along, confined forever to subsidized niches -- Erlang, Common LISP, REXX, Objective-C, Delphi, Ada. Only a handful of languages sustain a vigorous population of programmers using them, industrially, for their original purpose; we need not list them.

    Java survived teething only by dint of billions of dollars of promotion. It was taken up most enthusiastically by hacks living in fear of losing their jobs to other hacks more experienced on Microsoft environments. Every promise made in its infancy has proved a lie. Designed and implemented in such frantic haste that a semblance of quality was the first criterion jettisoned, it could not but grow into such a monstrosity as we face today. Today its uses in applications where it was, supposedly, intended -- cellphones, browsers, rings -- amount to little more than nasty, brutish parodies.

    It is no crime for a language to fail. What is a crime is for its failure to blight the careers of the myriad young, impressionable, and naive who fell for its blandishments. What is a crime is the forests felled, pulped, and printed upon, only to be discarded unread and obsolete. What is a crime is the thousands of good ideas, and the companies formed to build them, stabbed in the back by an inadequate implementation language. What is a crime is the gigawatt-hours of energy dissipated operating wasteful JVMs on huge servers performing jobs that a hamster could do (and does) on its bathroom break.

    Java is far more than a failure, far more than an annoyance, far more than the laughingstock of many industries, far more even than the evil sire of C#. It is a bona fide crime against humanity. Capital punishment would be too good for it; that is to say, it does not deserve execution.

    Only one fate can be ignominious enough to expiate Java's wrongs. Java must be consigned to use as an undergraduate teaching language.
  • by Ozan (176854) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @05:55PM (#8320867) Homepage
    At least he likes Jaegermeister, I hear.

    Does that qualify someone over there in the U.S.? Because here it is very much seen as a drink for accountants in their fifties.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @06:16PM (#8321093)
    I do the club scene a lot, some say I am a good dancer. I enjoy having a few drinks, usually ale or mead, and I have been known to cause a scene now and then...

    Eric paused, breathing heavily. He'd never done this before and he wanted to make sure all of his best qualities were included in this email.

    I am a geek, to be frank, and I enjoy hacking UNIX and maintaining Open Source programs such as Felchmale^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HFetchmail and a bevy of FAQs regarding 386 sound internals and role-playing games. I've been doing this for 15 years though I've never held a job in my life.

    Eric wondered if this woman he had found on match.com would be impressed with his talents. He decided to put more detail into the message.

    I recently drove 24 hours straight, with but two stops for gasoline, from Pennsylvania to Kansas City in an effort to destroy my two arch-nemeses. I would have succeeded except that I blew a head gasket as I was about to shoot one of them from my moving car on Route 69 [trollaxor.com]. I am an excellent shot and love guns in general.

    ESR pondered for a moment, wringing out his soaked handkerchief, and continued with his typing.

    So what languages do you know? I fancy myself quite an accomplished amateur linguist and know Anglo-Saxon and Old Icelandic inside and out. I often compose little riddles in them for fun and mental exercise. In fact, I'll include one for you now!

    Chewing on his tongue and squinting, Eric pushed his mind into overdrive and produced a beauty of a riddle on the spot:

    Windeth I towarde the skye
    I haveth eye but blinde am I

    Pleased with his linguistic talents, undoubtedly matched by no one, Eric then asked his potential love-conquest:

    Can you guess the answer to that? In case you can not, the correct answer is "my erect penis." I hope you enjoyed that; I do this sort of thing all the time.

    Eric exhaled slowly and rubbed his belly. It was growling and no doubt wanted its nightly bottle of Jgermeister. He decided to finish up the email in anticipation of the coming alcoholic stupor.

    Well I don't want to make this email too long -- I have a lot of responsibilities in real life to deal with. My role-playing group is coming over and we are spending the next week holed up in the forest near my home in character playing out a possible scenario from Beowulf. I need to get dressed up and I can not find my bear-claw mittens.

    Eric wondered how to wrap up the email, something that would hook the lady on him and make her want more...

    I hope we can meet and have sex. Despite my cerebral palsy, I am a monster in the sack! Maybe you'll get to see for yourself, LOLOLOL! ;-)
    Love,
    Eric S. Raymond
  • by grigori (676336) on Wednesday February 18, 2004 @06:38PM (#8321282)
    Maybe he didnt want to stay at the original Evil Empire any more.

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