Have a Nice Steaming Cup of Java 5 859
wap writes "The language/VM/religion that everyone loves to hate is now serving another cup: Java 1.5 is ready for download. The new features of 1.5 have been discussed here before. I, for one, welcome our new virtual machine overlord. I have been using the release candidate, and startup times are noticeably faster, as is overall performance, and the new features like typesafe collections and static imports are great to have. Let the Java flames begin!"
Thanks to our supporters (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, yeah, and ridiculously large settlement payments by Microsoft."
Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)
Passe... (Score:5, Funny)
Well for us Apple elitist bastards (Score:4, Funny)
I just got my copy... (Score:5, Funny)
Stealing my tongue (Score:5, Funny)
I, for one, welcome our new virtual machine overlord.
Dude you know you are not supposed to say these things in the story itself.
Re:How long will the MacOS X release take? (Score:2, Funny)
Man, that's not really fair (Score:3, Funny)
...
Come to think of it, this entire situation is sort of starting to sound like, um, something else...
Naming (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Stealing my tongue (Score:0, Funny)
Ad seen on Monster today (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My question is... (Score:1, Funny)
Right when it becomes aware of its spelling errors!
Thanks, I'll be here all week.
Re:How long will the MacOS X release take? (Score:2, Funny)
And I asked them, "do you know, will Java 1.5 be in Tiger?"
And they just looked at me really funny and were like "well, obviously."
Later I found out apparently "Tiger" is also Sun's codename for their version of the Java 1.5 release.
Oops.
Re:Thanks to our supporters (Score:4, Funny)
Just adjust the GMT offset in your resume (Score:2, Funny)
If they ask who your employer was at the time, just tell them you haven't yet notified that employer that you intend to resign yet. It'd be all true. No need to lie. Oh and if they ask what that -2628000 is, tell them it's just a MS Word revisionist code.
Re:Passe... (Score:1, Funny)
Crap. As a Java programmer, some show off programmer is going to use that crap unnecessarily and I am going to figure what all this stuff means.
Re:I wait! -- you mean... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Java is to C as ... (Score:4, Funny)
Too bad you can only drink "sweet sweet chocolate" in a dark, virus infested alley, while coffee can be enjoyed by everyone, everywhere.
Re:Dear Sun (Score:3, Funny)
Um... I've been a Java developer for about 5 years, and I've never seen that website. Now, can someone please tell me why Sun has put fscking RINGTONES on their Java site!?
Re:I wait! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Java is to C as ... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How long will the MacOS X release take? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Passe... (Score:4, Funny)
Ah, yes. The old "CAT-5-o'-nine-tails."
Re:Write once, run anywhere (Score:1, Funny)
Puzzle pirates, lots of fun, except for the FREAKIN waiting between screens. God.
If you are a project manager out there, and you are reading this, please, please, please promise that at the next project kick off, if ANYONE says "lets use java", fire their asses, and burn their bodies in a barrel.
The sooner we all admit that Java is painfully slow, doesn't "run on anything", and is not elegant, the better off we will all be.