How Not to Write FORTRAN in Any Language 502
gManZboy writes "In an article that's sure to p/o Fortran programmers, Donn Seeley has assembled a rant that posits there are characteristics of good coding that transcend all programming languages, except Fortran. Seriously though, his point is that early FORTRAN made coding ugly. Thus the joke 'Don't write FORTRAN' was applied to anyone with ugly code. Though Fortran has in recent years overcome its early challenges, the point -- 'Don't write FORTRAN' (i.e. ugly stuff) -- still applies."
fool! (Score:5, Funny)
You mean "sure to p
Missing something (Score:5, Funny)
You can write beautifully in ANY language... (Score:5, Funny)
I just figured I'd follow one pointless flame fest with another.
Re:fool! (Score:5, Funny)
About time someone spoke up about Fortran. (Score:5, Funny)
Every job classified ad section is filled to the brim with Fortran positions while less relevant languages like Java, C# and Visual Basic are almost completely neglected.
I for one welcome news like this if it help Fortran programmers acquire just a little humility.
Language is irrelevant (Score:1, Funny)
Beginner: draws flowcharts
Amateur: chooses languages, optimizes structures, types
Pro: migrates types and structures across libraries, builds API's
ZEN: Thinks of and designs nothing.
Even better... (Score:3, Funny)
For the uninitiated, Brainfuck [wikipedia.org]'s a Turing Complete language with eight language statements, each consisting of a single character:
> increment the pointer.
+ increment the byte at the pointer.
- decrement the byte at the pointer.
. output from the byte at the pointer (ASCII).
, input to the byte at the pointer (ASCII)
[ jump forward to the statement after the corresponding ] if the byte at the pointer is zero.
] jump back to the statement after the corresponding [ if the byte at the pointer is nonzero.
I'd post actual code, but the /. filter is fucking me up.
woo (Score:3, Funny)
Re:FORTRAN - The ugly but lovable little SOB (Score:3, Funny)
see: http://www.pbm.com/~lindahl/real.programmers.html
QOTD (Score:2, Funny)
-Peter
How to program in any language. (Score:4, Funny)
2. Do not create a data layer. It is great to search through thousands of line of code to change the sql code.
3. Use one very long class instead of separating the program's functionality into small atomic units. I just love 7th or 8th level if statements that are repeated everywhere.
4. Don't comment or doccument anything. Good code should be self docummenting right?
5. Don't handle exceptions. Good programs don't make em.
6. Don't use configuration files. Because we love to recompile everything to change settings.
Forgive my rant, it has been one long week... after another... of working with other people's code.
Cheers,
Adolfo
Re:And assembly is pretty? (Score:5, Funny)
So you have aspirations to be in management or an end user? I'm not clear here.
Is it just me... (Score:3, Funny)
I could fix that for them with sed, or maybe a Perl script. Now, where did I leave all my leaning toothpicks...
Re:FORTRAN - The ugly but lovable little SOB (Score:2, Funny)
COBOL too ... interesting that it hasn't been mentioned in either the article, or the comments I've read so far. *grin*
FORTRAN Ugly? (Score:2, Funny)
In Soviet Russia... (Score:2, Funny)
Punched Cards and Rubber Bands? LUXURY! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Learning It? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:white space isn' t your problem (Score:1, Funny)
At first, I didn't understand your comment, but I changed the font being used by my browser, and now I get it.