If Bad Software Developers Built Houses... 578
Richo99 writes "The editor at UI Hall of Shame takes us for a walk through a house designed by bad software developers. It appears Ed is getting a bit tired of really bad software designs in popular shareware titles. It is interesting because how much of a crime these apps perpetrate isn't obvious until you apply the same logic to everyday things, like the design of a house. I especially love the access to the garden. "
And the heating system (Score:5, Funny)
- Greg
Of course... (Score:5, Funny)
On top of that, there's also the whole "backdoor left wide open" stigma that comes with the Windows house.
If webmasters built houses... (Score:2, Funny)
wow, that house went down fast... (Score:2, Funny)
that's like a 2mph wind knocking over the house, right?
These guys know what they are talking about (Score:3, Funny)
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Beautifully crisp, clean, clear and consise
if slashdot editors built houses (Score:4, Funny)
(LOL.. just kidding! don't troll-rate me please!
Re:And the heating system (Score:3, Funny)
If builders built buildings.... (Score:4, Funny)
Soory, I can't remember who said that, but it is so apropos.
Vaporhouse... (Score:2, Funny)
The foundations aren't ready yet,
The site is slashdotted already.
Re:Of course... (Score:2, Funny)
and if the UI Hall of Shame built a house (Score:3, Funny)
You beat me to it. (Score:5, Funny)
I once asked a management type why was the dealine chosen even the specs weren't even done yet! Their reponse was "that's how we'd meet the ROI (Return on Investment) requirement for the project. I said "Maybe the project isn't worth doing and the VP is an idiot!" , but it came out of my mouth as "Oh I see! I learn something new everyday!" Of course, we missed the deadline and the ROI target too.
Makes me wonder (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Already slow; Full Text of Article: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the heating system (Score:5, Funny)
The roof would cave in when more than 30 people knocked on the front door.
Re:You beat me to it. (Score:3, Funny)
"Specifically, today I learned that the VP is an idiot." (or was that really something new?)
Re:If builders built buildings.... (Score:1, Funny)
pppfpfffffhaha hahahahahahahaaAHAHAAAA!!!!!
Re:Of course... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Software is much more complicated (Score:5, Funny)
Don't call them "problems", the correct name is "users".
Re:And the heating system (Score:5, Funny)
I havent seen so many runon sentances and bad capitalization/punctuation and mispelings since Third Grade, theyre really anoying and distracting from the Article, I want my articles written good.
Re:And the heating system (Score:5, Funny)
You really meant to say that you want your articles written well.
SiO2
Re:And the heating system (Score:3, Funny)
Welcome to the IntarWeb!
Re:Of course... (Score:2, Funny)
What do you mean "if" ? (Score:2, Funny)
Bad software developers have built houses [american.edu]
Re:And the heating system (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Of course... (Score:3, Funny)
Meanwhile, Apple would be quietly getting by on sales of high-end igloos and yurts.
YOU ALL FAIL IT!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, that's cute and all, but maybe you failed to notice the following:
Oh, but you'll correct "good" instead of "well" because YOU FAILED TO DETECT IRONY.
Re:Apples and oranges (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, I build shareware houses.
Why the doors swing outwards. (Score:4, Funny)
Though the visitor thinks that the lounge should be broad and nice, his hostforgets to tell him that he routinely runs horses through at high speeds, and the designer had only the one out to deal with the viscious user having somewhat odd requirements that they insist upon and think are normal.
The doors swing outwards because there are literally THOUSANDS of travelling salesmen per day, and if it swung inwards they would either force their way in to try to help you refinance your home, sell you vaccuum cleaner enhancements, or have an indecent proposal for your horses... and that's assuming they don't secretly drop self replicating robots inside that use your phones to call up a bunch of misguided teenagers across the world to give them orders like "tear up carpet" and "read house owner's diary to me".
The garden is plastic because the owner doesn't understand the basics of garden maintenance and anything else would die, and is underground because the sun gives off nova intensity light at random intervals for unforseen amounts of time.
---
Re:Of course... (Score:5, Funny)
Apple would be quietly getting by on sales of high-end earthen homes.(think hobbit hole) They would include their own wind and solar power supply as well, but need regular line power to work at 100%.
I also imagine Gentoo would be more like here's an axe, a saw, a hammer, and here is a sample floor plan. There are some good sized trees over there have fun.
Re:And the heating system (Score:3, Funny)
Now we know why your username is SiO2. You are utterly transparent to humor, it goes right through you without affecting you at all.
If Architects Had To Work Like Programmers (Score:5, Funny)
Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure what I need, so let's get started. My house should have between two and 45 bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I'll make the final decision about what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdowns for each configuration so I can arbitrarily pick one at a later time.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like insulated windows or composite siding. (If you choose not to use Anderson insulated windows, be prepared to explain you decision.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that the kitchen should accommodate (among other things) my 1952 Gibson refrigerator. To assure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, you will need to contact each of my children and our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure you weigh all these options carefully and make recommendations. However, I retain the right to overrule any recommendation you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house and get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpeting; however, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It should -- therefore appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure, before you finalize the plans, that there is a consensus of the potential home buyers in my area that they like the features of this house.
I advise you to run up and look at the house my neighbor built last year, as we like it a great deal. It has many things that we feel we need in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe you can design this into our new house without impacting the construction cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction cost as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on such an interesting project! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your ideas and completed plans.
Sincerely,
The Client
PS: My wife just told me she disagrees with many of the instructions I have given you in this letter. As the architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have failed to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
It's also more secure (Score:4, Funny)
Re:YOU ALL FAIL IT!!! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:And the heating system (Score:3, Funny)
Like the WindowsXP Pro house, where you can only invite 10 friends at once (and have to get planning permission again every time you get new furniture...)
Re:And the heating system (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Yeah, but... (Score:3, Funny)
House structure: Concrete (cough), easy to visualize and understand even by someone without building experience.
Software: Abstract and evidentally pixies and gnomes are involved somehow.
Re:YOU ALL FAIL IT!!! (Score:3, Funny)
The Amercian hunter, unlike the Oxford comma, eats, shoots and leaves.
Use the damn comma. Clarity is the essence of good style.
Re:And the heating system (Score:3, Funny)
Of course, if we did use a lock, our key would be a minimum of 6" long and must be made out of steel, plastic, and at least one bit of glass. Then we would be confused at why the owners found it annoying to carry.