Using Excel As a 3D Graphics Engine

Using Excel As a 3D Graphics Engine 292

Posted by kdawson on Thursday March 06, 2008 @01:50PM from the right-tool-for-the-job dept.

simoniker writes "Obviously whimsical but slightly mind-blowing — an Eastern European coder has published video and the Excel tables to get full 3D wireframe running in Microsoft Excel. He even has solid polygonal graphics running. This isn't an Easter Egg by the Excel creators. Rather, he's using formulas to output the graphics, using two different methods, and showing all the variables on-screen in real time as the 3D is created."

Using Excel As a 3D Graphics Engine

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One can only ask... (Score:2, Funny)

by e4g4 ( 533831 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @01:53PM (#22665194)

...why?

Re:One can only ask... (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @01:55PM (#22665210)

Somebody has to.

-RetroMud Grandpa

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by 49152 ( 690909 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @01:55PM (#22665224)

You sir are not a true geek ;-)

He did it because he could, all other reasons would be redundant.

This explains it (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @01:56PM (#22665240)

The DNF team has been waiting for the excel rounding errors to be fixed before release.

Could this be... (Score:2, Funny)

by Darundal ( 891860 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @01:58PM (#22665282) Journal

...a sign of some impending apocalypse?

Obligatory Joke.. (Score:5, Funny)

by Matt Amato ( 2494 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @01:59PM (#22665286)

Apparently he's using Excel as his web server too...

circa 1990 MS Works was a Turing Machine (Score:5, Funny)

by davidwr ( 791652 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:00PM (#22665308) Homepage Journal

I've long forgotten how I did it, but I used the database application in MS-Works for Windows 3.0 as Turing Machine.

Why? If you have to ask, get off Slashdot.

Not to worry ... (Score:5, Funny)

by gstoddart ( 321705 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:03PM (#22665334) Homepage

I'm sure someone has either already done this in emacs, or soon will.

Those guys have a mode for everything. :-P

Cheers

Not impressed (Score:5, Funny)

by Rufus211 ( 221883 ) writes: <rufus-slashdotNO@SPAMhackish.org> on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:06PM (#22665384) Homepage

I won't be impressed until Excel can pull of something as simple as a flight simulator.

Re:Obligatory Joke.. (Score:5, Funny)

by Nom du Keyboard ( 633989 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:08PM (#22665420)

When your only tool is a hammer, you must make the whole rest of the world look like a nail.

Oblig. (Score:4, Funny)

by BlackPignouf ( 1017012 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:08PM (#22665422)

Nice, but could it display a 2D rectangle whose dimensions are 850 & 77.1?

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by garett_spencley ( 193892 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:08PM (#22665432) Journal

pfft... speak for yourself. I do it to get laid.

65,535 (Score:4, Funny)

by TBerben ( 1061176 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:09PM (#22665448)

Hopefully, no formula outputs that value. Who knows what 3d image you'd get?!

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by longacre ( 1090157 ) * writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:11PM (#22665496) Homepage

What's the Excel formula for getting laid?

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by dvice_null ( 981029 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:15PM (#22665548)

Not sure, but it probably has something to do with miscalculation.

Re:Not to worry ... (Score:5, Funny)

by kalirion ( 728907 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:21PM (#22665634)

Oh yeah! Good ol' C-x M-c M-vectorengine...

Of course I still prefer butterflies.

big whoop (Score:5, Funny)

by FranTaylor ( 164577 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:25PM (#22665678)

This was possible on a 7 MHz 68000 back in the day of the original mac. At 3 GHz he should be able to raytrace in Excel.

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by alta ( 1263 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:25PM (#22665694) Homepage Journal

Hey, I'm a republican and a creationist. No one is going to convience me that this story was not worth of being posted or that I should turn in my card. Heck with an ID as low as mine, I doubt too many people would ask me to :)

Finally... (Score:2, Funny)

by wllf ( 627835 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:25PM (#22665696) Homepage

This is the breakthrough we were waiting for. Duke Nukem Forever is right around the corner now!

Re:Obligatory Joke.. (Score:2, Funny)

by lpangelrob ( 714473 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:27PM (#22665714)

When it comes to Excel, I think the appropriate tool analogy is a Swiss army knife. Only instead of twenty different knives, Excel provides twenty different hammers.

Re:Obligatory Joke.. (Score:3, Funny)

by sm62704 ( 957197 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:27PM (#22665722) Journal

What if your only tool is a condom? With a hole?

That's pretty cool... (Score:2, Funny)

by Tarlus ( 1000874 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:37PM (#22665874)

...but can it run Linux?

* Runs away *

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by legoman666 ( 1098377 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:42PM (#22665924)

alt-f4

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by MobileTatsu-NJG ( 946591 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:44PM (#22665938)

"What's the Excel formula for getting laid?"

I can give you the CSV version:

Income, Car, Looks, Star Wars Fan, Flosses, Dress Quality, Glasses, Muscles, Fat
$250k, Porsche, Good, 0, 1, >0.8, 0, 1, 0

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by uhlume ( 597871 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:45PM (#22665946) Homepage

That's not how you spell 'IQ'.

Re:big whoop (Score:4, Funny)

by jschen ( 1249578 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:46PM (#22665968)

I've heard of overclocking. But why would you want to underclock your 8 MHz Mac? I guess in this discussion, the correct answer would be "because you can".

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by sm62704 ( 957197 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:49PM (#22665996) Journal

You people that ask why on posts like this need to turn in your geek card. Geeks do this kind of stuff because we can.

No, more like "because we HAVE TO. We can't help ourselves.

Re:Obligatory Joke.. (Score:4, Funny)

by Jogar the Barbarian ( 5830 ) writes: <{greg} {at} {supersilly.com}> on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:49PM (#22666004) Homepage Journal

I guess you could set up a Chinese water torture station.

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:53PM (#22666058)

I don't think that's it.....I make six figures (that's six figures to the left of the decimal, thank you very much) and still rarely get laid......but then, I'm married, so I guess that's probably why.

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

by thePowerOfGrayskull ( 905905 ) writes: <marc...paradise@@@gmail...com> on Thursday March 06, 2008 @02:59PM (#22666126) Homepage Journal

Its kinda fun to... in Word ... executes a vba ... creates .. excel chart ... access database ... outlook.
Eh? "Kind of fun"? Do you also find sticking your fingers into an electric pencil sharpener "fun"?

A month early... (Score:4, Funny)

by mbessey ( 304651 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @03:01PM (#22666154) Homepage Journal

This has to have been accidentally published in the wrong month. It's clearly intended for April. What kind of Fools are running that magazine?

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by gEvil (beta) ( 945888 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @03:08PM (#22666230)

Alright Mister Smartguy, how exactly do you spell IQ?

compressed: (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Cowpat ( 788193 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @03:20PM (#22666438) Journal

geek
0

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

by MightyYar ( 622222 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @03:25PM (#22666520)

Do you also find sticking your fingers into an electric pencil sharpener "fun"?
That's not his finger.

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

by ParaShoot ( 992496 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @03:42PM (#22666768)

That's not his finger.
It's a space station?

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by MobileTatsu-NJG ( 946591 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @03:54PM (#22666950)

"FAIL. you can't have extra spaces in a CSV, unless you drive a " Porsche"."

Sorry. I'll append my CSV:

Pedantic, Feelings of Superiority by Mastering of Mundane Technical Details, Nitpick a Comment About Why Geeks Don't Score
0, 0, 0

Re:A true geek... (Score:4, Funny)

by Chyeld ( 713439 ) writes: <chyeld@gma i l . c om> on Thursday March 06, 2008 @03:56PM (#22666978)

Well, it's a little short to be a Stormtrooper.

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by Midnight Thunder ( 17205 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @04:08PM (#22667192) Homepage Journal

You sir are not a true geek ;-)

I doubt he would apprecaite ASCII Quake either.

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

by Translation Error ( 1176675 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @04:30PM (#22667512)

That's ok; that's not a pencil sharpener, either.

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

by ArAgost ( 853804 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @04:31PM (#22667520) Homepage

And it always shoots first :(((

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by caferace ( 442 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @04:35PM (#22667612) Homepage

Heck with an ID as low as mine, I doubt too many people would ask me to :)

Please turn in your card.

Re:Eastern European? (Score:5, Funny)

by autophile ( 640621 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @04:50PM (#22667956)

What makes a Hungarian coder "Eastern European"?

Not so much that he's from Hungary, but for what he did. You see, we Westerners think of the old Soviet-era Eastern Europe as a windswept expanse of cold, grey concrete buildings. All the people are huddled inside, shivering over a fire made out of rolled-up Pravda, because the Central Committee didn't come through with the oil for the 15th year running. Smartly-dressed politzei wearing fur hats patrol the streets with vicious attack dogs.
So it's pretty natural that if you see a 3D render in Excel, you have to think: "My God, what God-forsaken country do you have to be in to have to do 3D renders in Excel?!" And then you picture that guy hiding in a monk's hole, giggling to himself, swilling tea made from thrice-used teabags heated by Pravda fire, with a dash of bootleg Stolichnaya for kicks, and it couldn't happen anywhere except Eastern Europe, that fictional colorless country where it snows all the time.
--Rob

Re:One can only ask... (Score:4, Funny)

by MobileMrX ( 855797 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @04:55PM (#22668032)

I'd have just amended my doctype to "CSSV", the popular "Comma Space Separated Values" format. ;)

Re:Eastern European? (Score:2, Funny)

by jabber ( 13196 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @05:37PM (#22668718) Homepage

Clearly there's no difference between Bulgaria and Romania. It's all just "Eastern Europe". :)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:4, Funny)

by StormReaver ( 59959 ) writes: on Thursday March 06, 2008 @05:55PM (#22668978)

"Not sure, but it probably has something to do with miscalculation."

I dated her once, and I've never been quite right ever since.

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

by xSauronx ( 608805 ) writes: <xsauronxdamnit@noSPAm.gmail.com> on Thursday March 06, 2008 @09:53PM (#22671490)

he didnt mention he posts anon because the wife has a lower UID

Had to do it (Score:3, Funny)

by BorgCopyeditor ( 590345 ) writes: on Friday March 07, 2008 @01:40AM (#22672640)

What's the Excel formula for getting laid?
Gainful employment, a shower, a suit and a tie.
#REF!

Re:One can only ask... (Score:3, Funny)

by ayjay29 ( 144994 ) writes: on Friday March 07, 2008 @08:38AM (#22674008)

>>What's the Excel formula for getting laid?

b4i4q ru/18

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

One can only ask... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

This explains it (Score:5, Funny)

Could this be... (Score:2, Funny)

Obligatory Joke.. (Score:5, Funny)

circa 1990 MS Works was a Turing Machine (Score:5, Funny)

Not to worry ... (Score:5, Funny)

Not impressed (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory Joke.. (Score:5, Funny)

Oblig. (Score:4, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

65,535 (Score:4, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Not to worry ... (Score:5, Funny)

big whoop (Score:5, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Finally... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Obligatory Joke.. (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Obligatory Joke.. (Score:3, Funny)

That's pretty cool... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:big whoop (Score:4, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Obligatory Joke.. (Score:4, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

A month early... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

compressed: (Score:3, Funny)

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:A true geek... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:A true geek... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Eastern European? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Eastern European? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:5, Funny)

Had to do it (Score:3, Funny)

Re:One can only ask... (Score:3, Funny)

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