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9 Reasons Why Developers Think the CIO Is Clueless 275

Esther Schindler writes "Finally, a Forrester analyst who understands the attitudes of software developers. Mike Gualtieri identifies nine behaviors managers need to steer clear of or risk being labeled 'clueless' — from control freak tendencies to being a vendor puppet. My favorite, however, is point #8: 'the CIO collaborates to death,' in which Gualtieri opines, 'And, if you never watched Star Trek then you shouldn't even be a CIO.'"
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9 Reasons Why Developers Think the CIO Is Clueless

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  • Ok, first off: (Score:2, Insightful)

    by ardle ( 523599 )
    What's a CIO? The article doesn't even say.
    • Re:Ok, first off: (Score:5, Informative)

      by corsec67 ( 627446 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @06:56PM (#24023387) Homepage Journal

      Chief Information Officer

      CEO: Chief Executive Officer
      CFO: Chief Financial Officer

      CxO terms are pretty common for the top level in larger corporations.

      • by morgan_greywolf ( 835522 ) * on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:02PM (#24023457) Homepage Journal

        Chief Information Officer

        CEO: Chief Executive Officer
        CFO: Chief Financial Officer

        CxO terms are pretty common for the top level in larger corporations.

        CTO: Chief Technology Officer
        COO: Chief Operating Officer

        All equal to:

        CYO: Cover Your Own _____

        • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

          CYO: Cover Your Own _____

          which is an eloquent version of the CYA, which stands for Cover Your Ass. The two are interchangeable.

          Slashdot has dedicated entire articles to the CYO/CYA, and they are very informative.

      • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:47PM (#24023883)

        C3P0

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        Actually, I was reading an article on Yahoo! today and I could swear they referred to someone as the Chief Innovation Officer. However, in my experience, it's always been:
        CEO: Chief Executive Officer
        CFO: Chief Financial Officer
        CTO: Chief Technology Officer
        CIO: Chief Information Officer
        COO: Chief Operations Officer
      • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @09:01PM (#24024587)

        COO: Chief Operating Officer (usually a doctor)
        CTO: Chair Throwing Officer (usually a Ballmer)
        EIO: Chief Farming Officer (usually Old McDonald)

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by Thuktun ( 221615 )

        CxO terms are pretty common for the top level in larger corporations.

        This is often referred to as "C level", as in, "For this project to succeed, we need buy-in at C level."

    • Re:Ok, first off: (Score:4, Informative)

      by SomeJoel ( 1061138 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @06:56PM (#24023391)
      Chief Information Officer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chief_information_officer [wikipedia.org]
    • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:01PM (#24023437)

      That's what happens when the article is in CIO magazine. They tend to start making assumptions about what you know about CIOs.

      • by ardle ( 523599 )
        Priceless, thanks :-)
      • by wpiman ( 739077 )
        Well hope can they expect to sell subscriptions when the magazine doesn't even specify? Perhaps there are many Chief Investment Officers who currently are currently receiving this magazine because they mistook the acronym.
    • Re:Ok, first off: (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Opportunist ( 166417 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:33PM (#24023737)

      The same as any C?O. Some guy that has a foggy idea what his ? is, but isn't good enough to be actually working but yet can't be fired for some odd reason.

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        You forgot about the healthy six figure salary and five figure year bonus checks. That's what being a C?O is really all about. I almost forgot signing bonuses and golden parachutes, which is the reason they can't be fired, because it would cost more than keeping them around.
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by tehcyder ( 746570 )

        The same as any C?O. Some guy that has a foggy idea what his ? is, but isn't good enough to be actually working but yet can't be fired for some odd reason.

        So all CEOs and CFOs don't do any useful work and are just there because they can't be fired? That's an asinine over-generalisation even by /. standards.

        • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

          by Opportunist ( 166417 )

          Oh no, not all of them.

          Some could be fired. Or rotated to the top of another company once they managed to drive one into the ground.

          Don't get me wrong, but they are usually not worth what they're being paid. Most I met are short sighted, aiming for a quick buck without any thought for their long term responsibility. They see that fat bonus for making quick profits, lay off half the company and rely on the fact that most big companies are like oil tankers (i.e. even when you turn the engine off, it keeps goi

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by nominanuda ( 786275 )
      While I believe the other comments are correct that it stands for "Chief Information Officer," I know of a company that unfortunately must remain nameless, where they had a "Chief Innovation Officer," which basically just meant "giant douchebag."
    • by billcopc ( 196330 ) <vrillco@yahoo.com> on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @09:10PM (#24024659) Homepage

      Chief Insult Officer, that's me.

      "Go snort a moose, you snorkel-bleaching thimble monger!"

      That's why I get paid the big bucks.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Ilan Volow ( 539597 )

      You're a CIO, aren't you?

    • by devloop ( 983641 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @11:47PM (#24025901)

      Top three signs:

      1 - CIO reads magazine articles equating "Ruby on Rails" and "multicore programming" in the same sentence,
              then proceeds to plan new projects with a vision towards "massively distributed MVC, ROR, multicore Web 2.0 social applications",
              (code word for slow ruby websites that seem developed by drunken monkeys).

      2 - Follows advice regarding "Your ability to talk tech will go a long way to earning the respect of application development professionals."
              Usually developers have close to zero tolerance for the inane utterances ("talking tech") of managerial staff,
              or as it is call in technical terms, "bullsh!t".

      3 - Reads articles that use dehumanizing terms to refer to technical staff ("resources"),
              then proceeds to use them to form akward "complimentary" sentences:
              "Bob, you are by far my most leveraged, hyper-synergic resource".

      - Bonus: CIO fires the company's most experienced engineers, hires an all-Kazakhstani team,
              which after six months of working without a formal design produces hundreds of slideshows
              that are demoed to customers on MacOSX, extra points if shown on spanking new MacBook Airs.

      • by Moraelin ( 679338 ) on Wednesday July 02, 2008 @05:00AM (#24027341) Journal

        From my experience, when someone seems clueless or illogical, it's just that they're not saying which problem they're really trying to solve.

        E.g., if I were to come and say that my team needs a pony, and it would be great for team morale, and double as company car too, you might think, "WTF? Is he that retarded? Who rides a pony through town to a meeting with the customers?" The issue is that I'm not solving the problem I'm claiming to. The real problem might be that my daughter wants a pony, and I figure, maybe the company can pay for it. But of course, now I can't go to a management meeting and say, "I want the company to buy my daughter a pony." So now I'll work backwards from the solution I wish ("the company should buy a pony that I can use") to an acceptable problem it would solve (e.g., "we need environmentally friendly transportation!") And maybe I already have a second phase of that plan in mind, but I'm not telling it to you yet, either.

        The same applies to a lot of seemingly retarded managers. It may be just that they're not solving the problem you think, or that their job title says they should solve.

        E.g., if he comes up with a vision towards "massively distributed MVC, ROR, multicore Web 2.0 social applications", maybe really he's just trying to play bullshit bingo with the CEO or the investors. You're not the one he's trying to impress, the guy signing his paycheck is.

        Or maybe he's got a second phase in mind too, like that next he'll need more hardware for that, and he's already bribed by some vendor. Or that he already knows which graphics company he wants to outsource some of that to and what bribe he'll get.

        Literally, I've seen one project where their visionary wanted to have at least 1MB graphics in an applet, and that was back in the dialup and ISDN days, just because his best buddy had a graphics design company, and he wanted to outsource those graphics to that. Corruption by any other name, but there you go.

        Or maybe he just wants more budget and a bigger team under him, because that raises his perceived status and importance.

        Or maybe he just wants to be able to keep the current team, in the face of some retarded budget allocation which would otherwise have him fire everyone now because there are no projects in the pipeline for July, only to re-hire them in August when the next projects kick in. So he's creating some grand task as some make-work solution.

        Or maybe he's just strategically gaming the budget rules in advance. In a lot of places they have retarded processes like that if you didn't use all your budget this year, you get a budget cut next year. So people end up turning the heating on in March, because the winter was mild and otherwise they'd get no heating budget next year, when maybe the winter will be worse. Same here. You don't really know what you'll have to do next year, so you essentially have to burn some money in advance to be sure you'll get a budget for it next year. A case of "massively distributed MVC, ROR, multicore Web 2.0 social applications" is something so overachieving and nebulous that it can burn any amount of money you want it to burn.

        Etc.

        Firing everyone competent and hiring the cheapest burger flippers, well, again I've seen it done for strategic reasons.

        E.g., because with the same budget you can have more people under you, which raises your own status. And some places also have rules for what your job title and/or salary can be, based on the number of people under you. Ok, it wasn't at CEO level, but I do know someone who raised from a minor team leader to mid-level manager just by having his team inflate like a blowfish. He kept hiring incompetents and still needing more... and got rewarded for it.

        • CIO of the year (Score:3, Interesting)

          by RicRoc ( 41406 )

          Wow, I really like this post. You hit the nail on the head: The CIO is absolutey not clueless, he has some other objective in mind that he keeps secret. My CIO just got voted "CIO of the year" and we all went "WTF!?" because he seems so clueless. Thinkning about it (and having your post help) he just knows how to be a "good CIO". It's a game I don't think I want to play (nor am I good at it), but the pay is good. I think I'll stay with what I enjoy, in the trenches.

          • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

            by edittard ( 805475 )

            My CIO just got voted "CIO of the year" and we all went "WTF!?" because he seems so clueless.

            Voted by whom? Other CIOs, perchance?

        • by nyctopterus ( 717502 ) on Wednesday July 02, 2008 @08:52AM (#24028555) Homepage
          I have no mod points, but that is one of the most insightful (you hear that mods, INSIGHTFUL) comments I've seen on slashdot. It applies to an awful lot of human interactions.
    • by Hognoxious ( 631665 ) on Wednesday July 02, 2008 @10:38AM (#24030303) Homepage Journal

      It stands for "Can't Install Oracle". Alternatively, it stands for "Can Install Oracle".

      It's a close call which is worse.

  • by Ed Avis ( 5917 ) <ed@membled.com> on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @06:56PM (#24023383) Homepage

    If you are called a 'CIO' then you are pretty much guaranteed to be an idiot. WTF is an 'Information Officer' anyway, and how can you be the chief one if there are no others? What is wrong with being head of the IT department? It doesn't sound as swanky, which is surely a good thing, reminding you that IT is there to serve the rest of the business.

    • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:01PM (#24023441)

      What is wrong with being head of the IT department?

      It doesn't pay as well, for one thing.

    • by plover ( 150551 ) * on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:01PM (#24023443) Homepage Journal
      It's not at all clueless. It's an "officer" level position, which has real meaning in the business world. It means that you have top level input. An ordinary manager (or even a Senior Vice President) doesn't have the same level of influence.

      As CIO, you are not there just to serve the rest of the business, but to drive it in the technological direction, or to steer it in the direction that best matches your technical capabilities. A "manager" level or "head of IT" person is in only a reactive position, having influence only over his or her pyramid, and does not rise to the corporate executive level.

      • by Nefarious Wheel ( 628136 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:32PM (#24023725) Journal
        A friend of mine just left the post of CIO for a major energy distribution utility. He said the acronym stands for "Career Is Over".
        • by plover ( 150551 ) * on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @10:17PM (#24025187) Homepage Journal
          Well, if you're a Senior VP and get titled with CIO, exactly which position is left for you to aspire to? The CEO's spot is reserved for MBAs, not people who rose through technical merit. (Frankly, I think most CIOs would make really lousy CEOs.)

          But yeah, once you leave that post, it's likely that you'll be viewed as "overqualified" (pronounced O'ver-paid') by other firms, and you'd better have a decent benefits package.

          Unless you've somehow became famous for your firm's innovations. That's much more visible with CEOs than CIOs, but I suppose that CIOs probably have their elite stars, too.

      • Well, the problem is that those positions even got to be called "officer" in the first place. All of them.

        "Officer" used to mean, you know, army or navy. Even using it for the police is as recent as the end of the 19'th century, though it could be argued as a continuation from the times when the city guards acted as both police and garrison. Even the use for someone who holds an office of the state, was originally reserved for judges, but, anyway, the key words were: of the state. You know, someone acting i

    • by dedazo ( 737510 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:30PM (#24023691) Journal

      The CIO is just where the tech buck stops in some companies. Positions like CFO and CEO are older, but CIO and CTO were created to have someone at the officer level (legally) that can act as a representative of the company in such matters as pertain to technology and synergisms, at least going forward (OK that last part was a bit much). It's someone who can stand in front of the CEO and explain why the data center was overrun by a squad of ninjas (OK I'll stop now).

      It's really not much different than "VP of Technology" and titles like that.

      And I know a few good ones, so no, I don't think they're all emotionally challenged, at least not in relation to other people at officer-level positions I tend to meet.

      • by totally bogus dude ( 1040246 ) on Wednesday July 02, 2008 @11:13AM (#24031083)

        explain why the data center was overrun by a squad of ninjas

        CEO: Wait. Let me get this straight. Our website was offline -- costing us forty zillion dollars per nanosecond -- because the data centre was overrun by ninjas?

        CIO: Yes, that's exactly right, sir. You see-

        CEO: (interrupting) So with the 200 billion dollar budget we allocated you -- and which you spent every last cent of, might I add -- you somehow forgot to provide adequate physical security for the facility?

        CIO: Well, no sir, we had 24/7 security -- both humans and robots -- biometric scanners, 14 inch reinforced steel and concrete walls in 7 concentric rings, blast-proof doors, a five factor authentication sys-

        CEO: (interrupting again) So then, what you're saying, Mr Fancy Pants CIO, is that you misspent a two hundred million dollar budget on ineffective security measures for our most important computing facility?

        CIO: Well, no not really sir, the security of the facility is second to none - there has never been a breach of even the first layer of security in the last 7 years, not even the Ru-

        CEO: (interrupting, shouting, spraying the CIO with saliva) SO HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN OUR WEBSITE BEING DOWN FOR OVER 8 HOURS DUE TO THE PHYSICAL SECURITY HAVING BEING BREACHED?

        CIO: Well sir, it's like this. Ninjas are awesome. Like, really freaking awesome.

        CEO: (the anger immediately leaves his face as he regains his composure) Oh. I see. You're right, ninjas are really freaking awesome. Nothing could have prevented this. Good job.

    • Well, no. A job title is just a job title, although in the case of "CIO" it pretty much guarantees "well paid for this company", and I'd be surprised to hear of any evidence that directly relates "well paid" to "guaranteed idiot".

      More likely someone who judges someone's intelligence on the basis of holding a generic, popular job title is going to be the idiot.

  • s/think.KNOW/gi;

    There, fixed it for you.

    If we only THOUGHT the CIO was clueless, that would be a different story. too many businesses are like septic tanks - the really big chunks (the floaters) rise to the top.

    So remember, children, high visibility isn't necessarily a good thing. It might mean you're just full of shit.

    Coder: "How tall are you?"
    CIO: "6.1"
    Coder: "Gee, they're piling shit higher nowadays."

  • by I Want to be Anonymo ( 1312257 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:06PM (#24023491)

    First he says don't be a dinosaur, then he starts talking about tapping Ethernet cables.

    The last time I tapped an Ethernet cable, my buddy was throwing 9-track tapes at the dinosaurs to keep them away!

  • Bad Assumptions (Score:5, Insightful)

    by grizdog ( 1224414 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:07PM (#24023503) Homepage
    The article begins by saying that a CIO doesn't want to be labeled as clueless by his or her subordinates, but I think some of them may wear it as a badge of honor. They don't want to be labeled as clueless by their superiors, but I think they want to identify themselves as executives, rather than nerds.


    Also, point 4 in the article is going to be interpreted by any CIOs who do care as "be sure to stay current with all the hot buzzwords". Developers will see through most attempts at this instantly.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Opportunist ( 166417 )

      And this is where you see the difference between a good and a bad CIO. A CIO has to navigate the fine balance between being "geeky" and being ... umm ... what's the term for someone who hangs out with suits?

      He needs the respect from the senior officers or he won't get any of his ideas past the board, no matter how good they are or how much they would push the company ahead. At the same time, he must not become a suit or he loses any respect from his coders. I think I'm not the only "geek" that learned to id

      • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

        I had it communicated to me succinctly as "keeping your inner geek on a leash" - able to keep it in check when with the suits, but able to unleash it when required.
  • Vendor Puppets (Score:2, Interesting)

    The former CIO of one of America's 'Big Three' car companies, who shall remain nameless, but I'll say that the name of the company is a four-letter word ;) -- was an IBM vendor puppet. Of course, he came from IBM, and after he left, he went back to work for IBM....hmmm.....

    Needless to say, his policies live on. The only approved vendor at the four-letter American automobile manufacturer is ... IBM.

  • CIO role (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Amarok.Org ( 514102 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:08PM (#24023507)

    The problem is, in many companies, the role of the CIO is pretty nebulous.

    It gets further confusing when you have both a CIO and a CTO. When you don't, the CIO has to fill both roles, which are often at odds.

    The way I see it...

    The CTO is responsible for understanding, predicting, and planning technology.

    The CIO is responsible for ensuring that the technology in use by and acquired for the company is in the best interests of the company (and its shareholders, if applicable).

    CIOs are typically from a financial background, as at the end of the day their primary responsibility is to the business units that fund the technology. It isn't about the latest, flashiest, or even best gadgets - it's about meeting the needs of the business units while spending the least amount of money to do so. Unfortunately, this often leaves us (the geeks) on the short end of the stick. And perhaps worse, with the financial focus of the average CIO, they often fail to understand where a reasonable investment in technology can save them money over time. Since the typical CIO is only in their position for a few years, they don't have a lot of time for investments to pay off. Cut costs today, and let the next guy fix the mess they've made.

    • Re:CIO role (Score:5, Informative)

      by maz2331 ( 1104901 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:26PM (#24023653)

      In all seriousness, the proper role of a CIO is to ensure that the proper information (the "I") is delivered to the people who need it in the least expensive and fastest manner possible.

      Period.

      It doesn't matter if that info comes in via computer, iPhone, or carrier pigeon. Just that the people have what they need when they need it, at the lowest possible cost.

      A CTO has the task of picking the technology that makes that possible.

      A CFO has to look at the real numbers and move them from column "A" to column "B" such that profit is maximized and cost is minimized. Without committing a felony in the process.

      The CEO has to figure out WTF all the other CxOs are doing, try to watch the outside world, and figure out a plan that maximizes his paycheck without pissing off shareholders, getting sued into oblivion, prosecuted (see CFO), or committing a felony that he can't pawn off to the CFO. All while being liable for both mistakes and lies of the other CxO's under him.

      • Hmm... One shifts information, one builds the roads for that, the next finances it and some guy supervises them.

        Umm... is there any C?O actually responsible for ... well, you know, getting some sort of product on the way?

        • Usually the CTO is on the product side, and the CIO on the operations side. So if you're a software company, the CTO is in change of the technology of your products. The CIO is in charge of IT, datacenters, usually security and that sort of thing.
      • by rho ( 6063 )

        Period.

        People who say "Period." are usually talking out of their hat.

        The actual job of the CIO involves more than that. Most jobs cannot be so simply summarized. At least not usefully.

    • CTO? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by seanadams.com ( 463190 ) * on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:47PM (#24023879) Homepage

      Maybe I'm just old hat, but I thought the role of a CTO was to deal with the.. uh.. technology. As in, for companies that actually develop technology. And the CIO does the IT.

      As I recall, "CIO" was popularized by the dot-com companies, and immediately thereafter, since they needed as many C**s on staff as possible to get their VC funding, decided that a CTO was needed too, even though their business was selling pimento loaves on the e-web. So then it became just a great big alphabet soup with everyone squabbling over what their all important title should be. (Yes, I have worked in such an environment more than once).

      I think the most obvious mark of a doomed startup is when people get completely hung up on establishing the org chart before the company has even made a dime in revenue. I realize it's basic human (/animal) nature to have to get the pecking order establish first and foremost. However when the title itself is the result of such as clueless and counterproductive process - and indeed, a throwback to such a clueless era as the dot com days, it's hard to see how you could expect your underlings could bestow any credibility on it.

      I realize I may have offend any CIOs in the audience, but that's not the intent. My point is not personal - what I'm saying is just that if you're good at your job and still getting no respect, perhaps a less "tainted" title is in order.

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        As I recall, "CIO" was popularized by the dot-com companies, and immediately thereafter, since they needed as many C**s on staff as possible to get their VC funding, decided that a CTO was needed too, even though their business was selling pimento loaves on the e-web.

        Sort of. Traditionally IT reported into the CFO.

        However once the internet came about, there were all sorts of applications needed that weren't related to finance/accounting. So most major businesses (not just the dotcoms) created a CIO position at that point.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Trojan35 ( 910785 )

      IT People say: "Stupid Finance doesn't see the savings from investing in IT"

      So, finance invests in IT in a project for $3M thats supposed to generate $5M in savings.
      Then, a year later, IT people leave, new people arrive and demand the system be upgraded for $3M more.

      Finance says: "No."
      IT People say: "Stupid Finance doesn't see the savings from investing in IT"

      See, I can paint with a broad brush too.

  • they think watching Star Trek is a prerequisite to being a CIO

    "Earl Grey, Hot!"

  • by dreamchaser ( 49529 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:27PM (#24023675) Homepage Journal

    I've reported directly to a couple of CIO's in a couple of different organizations. In both instances they were petty, clueless people. On the other hand, I've had customers whose CIO's were not so bad and seemed to have a good grasp. I don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this one, but it's true that quite a few of the CIO's I've interacted with have been what I would kindly call clueless idiots.

    Then again, they were smart enough to somehow get that high paying gig, so go figure. Many times though it's not what you know, it's who you know.

    • by ardle ( 523599 )
      I think "what you know" comes into play a bit - but in the "making impressions" field, not "management" ;-)
    • Playing devil's advocate, I'd say they were all clueless. You just had to suffer from CIOs who let any lobbyist and salesman sell them whatever snakeoil is the latest fad, while you could easily convince other CIOs that your new product is the next big thing. :)

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      The only reason there's "a lot of truth" to the article is that it makes points such as "clueless managers will be seen as clueless". A few comments about buzzwords aside, it's such completely generic pablum that anyone with a general prejudice against senior management of any kind, let alone CIOs, can happily confirm their own biases.

      The most interesting aspect of the article is the presumption that the CIO must have the technical respect of the application developers. This is in fact not necessary. It do

      • Seeing as I *am* senior management so I think that I have a right to call it like I see it when it comes to my peers and immediate superiors. Save the pablum talk for newbs.

  • by B3ryllium ( 571199 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:38PM (#24023793) Homepage

    ... "finds far too many ways to use the word 'Synergy'" - is that on the list, or anything involving corporatespeak?

    • No, but I think we could have a good time coming up with "words that should make you run away from a job interview." Synergy should be on the list, surely. I'd add "leverage." And "thought leader."
  • The Full List (Score:5, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:39PM (#24023809)
    1. The CIO is a control nut.
    2. The CIO is aloof.
    3. The CIO gulps vendor Kool-Aid.
    4. The CIO is a technical dinosaur.
    5. The CIO is ubergeeky.
    6. The CIO thinks changes can happen overnight.
    7. The CIO doesn't know the difference between resources and talent.
    8. The CIO collaborates to death.
    9. The CIO spends all of his time trying to get promoted to CEO.
  • Can we just go ahead and ban this site from posts? Their gradient hurts my eyes and their articles are stupid sudo knowledge. Don't be too much of a geek, but watch Star Trek, give me a fing break.. And while we are at it, can we ban sites that pop an ad straight in your face on connect?!?!
  • by HangingChad ( 677530 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @07:45PM (#24023873) Homepage

    I was just offered a CIO position this am, we're negotiating the start date. Too funny.

    And, if you never watched Star Trek then you shouldn't even be a CIO.

    Whew, got that one covered. Scotty! I..need...that...data center power. And I'll preface all my emails with a Stardate.

    Stop thinking about your golf game.

    D'oh! How did he know that?

    Guess I'll find out if this is better than running my own consulting gig. All those times I shook my head wondering how people so clueless got into decision making positions, karma comes around. All those times I suggested a better way to have it ignored. Not anymore. It's an interesting feeling.

    Vendors are a problem. Relentlessly annoying. Going to have to come up with a system to keep them from bothering me all day.

    • by dbc ( 135354 ) on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @08:05PM (#24024037)

      My thought for the day: Your staff is there to educate you. You will be too busy to keep up, and to do all your own filtering and analysis. Make sure they know it is their job to keep you up to date on things that matter.

      My favorite meeting moment: Boss steps into my cube for 1-on-1 meeting. I fire up a demo of a new technology I think he should see. Boss: "I just got out of a 1-on-1 with the general manager! He asked me what I knew about this and if I had started a project on it! I had to tell him I had never heard of it. Why didn't you show me sooner?" Me: "You're the one that rescheduled our 1-on-1 3 times this week."

      The great thing about having a staff is the astronomical amount of information you can learn from them. Their job is to find and filter it. Your job is to make decisions with it.

    • by Captain DaFt ( 755254 ) <captain_daft@gmail. c o m> on Tuesday July 01, 2008 @09:00PM (#24024577) Journal

      "Vendors are a problem. Relentlessly annoying. Going to have to come up with a system to keep them from bothering me all day."

      Do what they did at a previous job of mine appoint a "Procurement Advisor".

      Basically, when the secretary announce that "Bill from Wonderful widgets is here", Our Boss would say "Tell him the Procurement Advisor is on his way up." Then check to see who's available, and send him. (We were all briefed on the procedure, but good BSers were prime pickings for Procurement Advisor.)

      PA of the day would then meet with Bill in an available office/conference room/whatever and listen, nod, and accept freebies.
      Then when Bill tries to close the deal, say "I'm just the Procurement Advisor, I'm not authorized to make this decision, but I will pass my recommendations up the chain. Thank you for your time."

      Some weasel.. er, vendors caught on after awhile and tried to circumvent the system. They were politely, but firmly told "I'm afraid you'll have to talk to our Procurement Advisor, this is his job."

  • 1) He/she gets paid more (stupid)
    2) He/she gets paid more (a**)
    3) He/she gets paid more (repetition)
    4) He/she gets paid more (filter)
    5) He/she gets paid more (you)
    6) He/she gets paid more (guys)
    7) He/she gets paid more (are so)
    8) He/she gets paid more (clever)

    And

    9) He/she gets paid more

  • by COredneck ( 598733 ) * on Wednesday July 02, 2008 @12:17AM (#24026095)
    First, I don't want to say to much on the location. It was a Civilian Agency/Research Facility located within an Air Force Base in Colorado's front range. The CIO of the facility has a Ph.D. also graduated from West Point and retired as an Army Colonel. He was considered a "ring knocker".

    When he took over when he was an Army Colonel, he cracked down on various items. When he retired from the Army, a slot was made for him to remain there. Below are the list of various items he did:
    • Implemented a strict dress code including NO casual Fridays and no blue jeans, period rule
    • Cracked down on hours you put in where they wanted you to be there basically from 8 to 5 and to make it difficult to work alternative hours
    • Implemented strict rules on your desktop PC such as not allowing for alternative web browsers like Firefox. You were required to use Internet Explorer. Also, you could not change the settings either such as being able to block pop-up ads
    • Implemented a highway traffic safety program where there is cooperation between the local police and the facility. If you get stopped for speeding going to/from work, you are reported to your workplace. Within several days of getting stopped, you get an e-mail directing you to report to the Deputy Program Manager's office to explain yourself.

    On the dress code aspect, when he took over as colonel, he made an example out of a couple of Sys Admins when they showed to a meeting in blue jeans and sandals. He had them fired on the spot and escorted of the premises and off the base. A friend who worked there prior to when he showed up mentioned the place was fun to work at. When he did nights and weekends, they didn't care if you showed up dressed for comfort. When the colonel showed up that changed ! He also took away the traditional Hawaiian Shirt Friday as well. He also cracked down on people who left early on Friday, another "tradition" in the DoD contracting world.

    When the colonel took over, he didn't consider the culture of the place at the time plus the culture of Colorado which is considered very casual like in dress. One thing not mentioned until now, his additional degrees are from East Coast schools like U. of Virginia. With formal rules being more important than getting the job done, the dynamic changed for the worst. I really don't to go back to that facility as long as he is there. I still keep in contact with some people who still work there. One day, there was a water problem where all the bathrooms were shutdown but people were told they could NOT leave for home early and to keep working. The basement of the building has been converted to "cube farms" from basically storage. One thing not included was more bathrooms. Even for the men you have to wait 5 or 10 minutes for a toilet stall to open up. A lot of times there are several people waiting for each stall. Complaints have so far been ignored.

  • by cerberusss ( 660701 ) on Wednesday July 02, 2008 @03:36AM (#24027007) Journal

    EVERY one of these damn reasons applies to my CIO. And I am my own one-man company!

I tell them to turn to the study of mathematics, for it is only there that they might escape the lusts of the flesh. -- Thomas Mann, "The Magic Mountain"

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