Java Gets New Garbage Collector, But Only If You Buy Support 587
An anonymous reader writes "The monetization of Java has begun. Sun released the Java 1.6.0_14 JDK and JRE today which include a cool new garbage collector called G1. There is just one catch. Even though it is included in the distribution, the release notes state 'Although G1 is available for use in this release, note that production use of G1 is only permitted where a Java support contract has been purchased.' So the Oracle touch is already taking effect. Will OpenJDK be doomed to a feature-castrated backwater while all the good stuff goes into the new Java SE for Business commercial version?"
In this day and age of "green" businesses... (Score:5, Funny)
Shouldn't we have "recycling collection" instead of "garbage collection"?
C'mon guys all those big 1MB and 4MB malloc()s are being shipped over to third world countries to be disassembled into bits and bytes. We should be recycling things HERE.... not throwing them away for Java to come and pick up.
Troll? (Score:5, Funny)
In Soviet Russia, article trolls you!
Re:Let the man answer please... (Score:3, Funny)
I'm thinking he turned to Ellison and said... "Let the Schwartz be with you!"
Re:Garbage collector? (Score:3, Funny)
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=garbage+collector [lmgtfy.com]
Oh you Smelly Software Socialists! (Score:5, Funny)
I just know you're going to make a lengthy complaint thread of this.
If you would simply put down your Silver Surfer comics, comb the crumbs and insects out of your beards, cut your straggly hair, have a bath and a good scrub, and eagerly learn all the new technologies as our Marketing department invents them (and disposes of the old technologies), we could see the dawn of a New Age of incredibly rich CEOs and VPs who live in mansions, collect cars, race boats and planes, and in general protect the freedoms that your betters fought so hard to establish.
The meek shall inherit my EULA.
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:5, Funny)
Tony Soprano in charge (Score:5, Funny)
Meet Vinny and Guido, my business associates in the waste management business.
You see, it's like this. I gotta eat. My kids gotta eat. Vinny and Guido's families have to eat.
We know where you live. It's a nice place, big houses, fancy cars. You can afford to eat, very well.
You wouldn't your neighboorhood to fall victim to all sorts of garbage dumpers, would you? How about a recycling plant, right next to where you work?
No? Well, I'm sure you'll understand when I say that it is in your best interest to respect our business model. Or else, Vinny and Guido might have to go hungry for a bit. And I assure you, they get very unfriendly when they get hungry.
Capiche?
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:5, Funny)
Write once. Pay everywhere.
Re:No malloc( )s (Score:3, Funny)
* <- joke
o
-|- <- you.
/ \
Re:RIP Java..we hardly knew ye. (Score:1, Funny)
It had no good debugger, no usable UI interface
I think the UI interface of the ATM machine where you enter your PIN number runs Java.
Re:Garbage collector? (Score:1, Funny)
Troll'd. All 'o' ya!
Re:Garbage collector? (Score:5, Funny)
So, which pay-for-answers site do you plan to post the responses on? Or are you feeding a plagiarism detector?
Re:Tony Soprano in charge (Score:5, Funny)
That's a real nice production server you got here. It'd be a shame to see something unfortunate happen to it. I mean a server room's a dangerous place, ain' it? You got cables and electricity around and, well... accidents happen, if you know what I mean.
Especially with garbage lyin' around all over your memory. Pipes could get clogged, tables could fill up, processes could meet an untimely demise... you know what I'm talking about.
Now for a very reasonable fee, we can see that your garbage is collected regularly. It's a very small fee, once you think about what could happen if you didn't have folks like us around to help you. We'll see that this very nice production server continues to run in tip-top shape. Yes, our small garbage collection fee could help you avoid all sorts of unpleasantness...
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:4, Funny)
Very briefly around 10 years ago, when it was a clear improvement over C++ and hadn't yet been infested by architecture astronauts.
Bad Oracle touch (Score:4, Funny)
So the Oracle touch is already taking effect.
Fork you, Oracle!
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:3, Funny)
That was back when it was called Oak, right?
Re:No malloc( )s (Score:1, Funny)
Welcome to the Slashdot Comment Games on CBC! Coming up: the 800 metres first post, Goatse hurdling, HURD herding and the 500 metres anti-Microsoft rant.
But now we have coverage of the first joke misunderstanding event, where it seems Britain's professorguy has just made a new world record! He truly has captivated the audience here in LOLzistan Stadium, by completely misunderstanding a joke about Java garbage collection. He has received no less than five *WHOOOOOOSH* posts in response. Let's go to Pete Winkyfiddler who's down in the stadium floor, with professorguy.
Thank you Shandra, looking forward to banging you in the stationary cupboard later, oh, did I say that out loud? Anyway, this has been an incredible performance by professorguy, receiving five *WHOOOOOOSH* posts; the closest anyone has come to this was Marcus Shuttlecock in 1983. Simply breathtaking. Let's watch the replay:
We're seeing several types of *WHOOOOOOSH* here, from the straight-forward, all capitals, right through a fade-in fade-out *WHOOOOOOSH* and even the fairly recent addition by atheletes in this event: the little stick-man illustration.
professorguy: what an outstanding result, you must be very pleased with the outcome of your post. Can you walk us through, y'know, just how you managed to misunderstand the joke enough to get a new world record?
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:5, Funny)
They were both slow when they came out, they're both slow now, and they both have a bunch of people saying "oh, but it's faster now!"
Re:Forgive my ignorance WAS:re: Garbage collector? (Score:5, Funny)
Five memory leaks!
Ah-ah-ah.
One... two... three... four... five memory leaks!
Ah-ah-ah.
Sorry. I have a toddler at home. I couldn't help counting out loud in a silly voice when you mentioned the number 'five' twice.
br.Now my coworkers are eyeing me even more strangely than usual.
Re:wait, I am confused... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:5, Funny)
Huh? How are Java and Javascript nearly identical?
In the same way lightning is nearly identical to lightning bugs.
Re:No malloc( )s (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Oh you Smelly Software Socialists! (Score:1, Funny)
Cool, an object-oriented EULA!
Re:Forgive my ignorance WAS:re: Garbage collector? (Score:5, Funny)
In C++, there are better ways to prevent memory leaks than carefully freeing everything in your destructors (which doesn't work anyhow if your constructor throws an an awkward moment).
You accidentally a few words. You might say you accidentally a grammar exception at an awkward moment.
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:1, Funny)
did you think of
-Ddeployment.security.blacklist.check=false
No, of course not.
He is, after all, a "Java developer".
Not to mention a pompous ass.
Re:Seriously Java? (Score:4, Funny)
Emacs > vi