COBOL Celebrates 50 Years

oranghutan writes "The language used to power most of the world's ATMs, COBOL, is turning 50. It also runs about 75 per cent of the world's business applications, so COBOL should be celebrated for making it to half a century. In cricketing terms, that's a good knock. The author says: 'COBOL's fate was decided during a meeting of the Short Range Committee, the organization responsible for submitting the first version of the language in 1959. The meeting was convened after a meeting at the Pentagon first laid down the guidelines for the language. Half a century later, Micro Focus published research which showed people still use COBOL at least 10 times throughout the course of an average working day in Australia. Only 18 per cent of those surveyed, however, had ever actually heard of COBOL.'"

A good knock in deed..

[bsDaemon]

Though, to be fair, 50 years isn't quite as long as the average cricket game.

COBOL

[mcgrew]

Happy birthday, Crappy Old Bad Obsolete Language! You need to take better care of yourself, you look a lot older than fifty.

Re:Celebrates?

[Archtech]

Now if that isn't a troll...

Cue the fucktards.

[Anonymous Coward]

Okay, now let's hear from everybody that can write a few lines of C code and considers themselves a 'programmer'. Please chime in about how language X is so much more advanced than COBOL and also please throw in an anecdote about how this brings you back to the old days. Come on, I've teed it up for you, now knock it out of the park!

Greetings follow COBOL programers ...

[Anonymous Coward]

... and GET OFF MY LAWN!

COBOL made me what I am today

[walkoff]

We were taught COBOL at college 25 years ago and i'm still a grumpy old git

Typo

[winnitude]

"COBOL Celebrates 50 Years"

Should read:

"COBOL Bemoans 50 Years"

Re:75% of apps? Shaa, right!

[Fred_A]

Come on, 75% is a HIGHLY dubious claim. Where's the source / proof / evidence?

Actually if just Solitaire was coded in COBOL it would seriously skew the statistics already, numerous people would spend hours poking at a COBOL app each day.

Happy 50th

[CharlyFoxtrot]

identification division.
program-id. birthday.
environment division.
data division.
procedure division.
main section.
display "get off my lawn!"
stop run.

Re:Cue the fucktards.

[some_guy_88]

Look, I did a class on VB in high school so I know what I'm talking about.

COBOL is so crap that you can't even create a new COBOL project in Visual Studio anymore. You really need to get up to speed.

How is SNOBOL doing?

[TimSSG]

How is SNOBOL doing? Better or worse than COBOL? Tim S.

Best joke I know about Cobol

[Jimmy_Slimmy]

http://www.xent.com/FoRK-archive/spring97/0143.html [xent.com]

COBOL Joke

[Haxzaw]

Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it. He tried getting a job with an Orange County web development firm, but couldn't hack it in the end. Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life. He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that. The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie. Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?" The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet. "That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?" "Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL".

Re:A good knock in deed..

[Eudial]

Yeah, I almost had time to write a hello world program in COBOL during a cricket game once. Though I couldn't find enough Libraries of Congress to save it in, so I had to chuck it. A shame, really.