The Struggle To Keep Java Relevant

snydeq writes "Fatal Exception's Neil McAllister questions Oracle's ability to revive interest in Java in the wake of Oracle VP Jeet Kaul's announcement at EclipseCon that he would 'like to see people with piercings doing Java programming.' 'If Kaul is hoping Java will once again attract youthful, cutting-edge developers, as it did when it debuted in 1995, [Kaul] may be in for a long wait,' McAllister writes. 'Java has evolved from a groundbreaking, revolutionary language platform to something closer to a modern-day version of Cobol.' And, as McAllister sees it, 'Nothing screams "get off my lawn" like a language controlled by Oracle, the world's largest enterprise software vendor. The chances that Java can attract the mohawks-and-tattoos set today seem slimmer than ever.'"

Re:What is out there right now?

[Macrat]

So what do people with piercings do now?

Work at Starbucks.

Nothing screams get off my lawn like this comment

[jason.sweet]

like to see people with piercings doing Java programming.

The amount of drugs involved in the decision to get said piercings is not conducive to good software engineering.

Here's how to make Java again

[grepya]

The problem with Java today is... it's syntax looks too much like C. And as everybody knows, C is for geezers. Can't we write java code as follows:

<class>
<classname>MyPony</classname>
<method>Run</method>
<code>
<if><condition>IsExcited</conditon>
<if_block>walkFaster </if_block>
</if>
<method>trot</method>
<method>gallop</gallop>

.
.
etc...
  Once the java manufacturing association fixes the syntax to my satisfaction, I'd give up on my 10 GL super auto functional metaprogrammers language (Saufml) and start writing java code. Until then, I'll keep working on my latest NoSql data-store for my soon to be mobile-social-media-empire (leveraging P2P crowd-sourcing) in my beloved Saufml.

Re:good coders will follow the money

[pushing-robot]

So true. Popularity is one of the worst ways to measure interest.

Re:Here's how to make Java again

[travisb828]

To get buy in from the geezers, you should get in the habit of formatting your code. It makes things easier to read, and it just looks more professional. CamelCase also is helpful in improving readability, and to enforce proper code formatting you should make formatting part of the syntax.

Doesn't this look so much nicer? I almost forgot. You will need a declaration.

<?saufml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" ?>
<Class>
        <ClassName>MyPony</ClassName>
        <Method name="Run">
                <Code>
                        <If>
                                <Condition>IsExcited</Condition>
                                <If_Block>walkFaster </If_Block>
                        </If>
                </Code>
        </Method>
        <Method name="trot" />
        <Method name="gallop" />
</Class>

Re:What is out there right now?

[nitehawk214]

So what do people with piercings do now?

Work at Starbucks.

Java engineers.

Re:Groovy

[simoncpu was here]

I was about to mod you funny when I realized that "groovy" is a programming language, not something that describes Java.

Oh well, I also realized that I'm starting to grow my own lawn...

Re:Tempest, meet teacup...

[Alex Belits]

Java programmer never seen a program that fits into L2 cache of a modern CPU, so Java performance seems "excellent" to him.

Re:good coders will follow the money

[moosesocks]

- 5000 is apparently the limit for the number of results a query can provide at monster.com (weak) so there are most likely far more that 5000 java jobs in their database

Yeah. Apparently their java-based search engine runs out of memory at around 5000 results....

Help keep C relevant in the modern era!

[symbolset]

Why is noone asking to examine the C programming language, to adapt it to modern programming processes and methods? Why is noone speaking out to defend C as a useful language, to update the aged methods of Kernighan and Ritchie?

Oh, wait. Never mind. That was a stupid question.

Re:good coders will follow the money

[noidentity]

Yeah. Apparently their java-based search engine runs out of memory at around 5000 results....

It's evolved beyond those other languages that don't limit population growth, and later crash due to overconsumption.

Re:the best programmers?

[keeboo]

I have tattoos, and I used to have piercings.

According to people with piercings and tatoos that is "+4 Insightful".

I'm also a damn good coder.

Thanks for your unbiased opinion.

I seriously doubt the two are related.

I seriously doubt a person who uses him/herself as a positive example to prove a point.

Re:What is out there right now?

[mrjb]

"I would like to see people with piercings doing Java programming,"

Never mind the people. I just want to see those piercings doing Java programming.

Re:good coders will follow the money

[_newwave_]

Actually, it's a cached page from google, because this stupid end user (aka, comment author) didn't have the sense that the JVM takes 5 hours to start and set is browser timeout settings appropriately. the last time this article was actually worked it stopped at 5k results when the dinosaur that "engineered" it thought that 10 minutes of up-time with results he liked meant that the http request to MSSQL Reporting worked.

Re:I've.never.used.groovy.so.I.have.a.question.

[owlstead]

But you would still have to type "out.", what are you thinking?

Re:the best programmers?

[spiffmastercow]

I'm often amazed at the level of hostility on /. to anyone who claims they are good at what they do. In comparison to the programmers/developers/software engineers/architects/whatever title inflation demands a coder be called, I'm pretty good. And I should be, since I've been coding for 15 years. Judging someone's coding ability based on their appearance is utterly retarded, as is believing in stupid rules like 'only people who suck at something will claim to be good at it'.

Re:I've.never.used.groovy.so.I.have.a.question.

[Javagator]

I think you are too quick to put people posting here in boxes

You're probably right. Maybe I should have added a Cowboy Neal box.