Windows Phone 8 SDK — By Appointment Only 153
mikejuk writes "Developers worried about the changes that might be waiting for them in the new Windows Phone 8 API are going to have to wait even longer to find out. Microsoft has just announced that the SDK will be available soon, but only to the developers it approves. If you already have a published app, then you can apply to be part of the program. The announcement says, 'But I do want to set your expectations that program access will be limited.' The public SDK will be made available 'later this year,' which is behind the timetable that developers were led to expect. As you can imagine, the developer community, judging by the comment stream, is less than happy. What makes this whole development even stranger is that the announcement was made on the day Nokia previewed a range of WP8 devices. The Nokia launch got most of the publicity, so perhaps the idea was that a little negative news wouldn't be noticed. The real question is: why the limited availability?"
Hidden Fortressed Garden (Score:5, Funny)
Steve Ballmer: Alright you dumbshits, I've been up all night reading about this new "walled garden" thing that Apple has and I want one for Microsoft!
Executive #1: Are you serious? Why play their game? We've been gaining developers by opening up to the community and
Steve Ballmer: Shut up and get out, you're fired. Anyone else want to call me a copycat?
Executive #2: We could
Steve Ballmer: That's a good idea but we need something better, something that sends a message to developers developers developers developers that we don't even need them. It used to be about the developers developers developers developers but maybe -- just maybe -- they're like women and you gotta hit 'em a little bit so they appreciate when you're nice to them. I don't just want a measly walled garden, I want a fortressed garden with turrets that shoot anything that moves and has a Guantanamo Bay garden where no one has any rights and developers developers developers developers are tortured while we urinate on copies of the GPL and
Executive #3: Well, my division's about to release the Windows Phone 8 SDK, we could, say, charge $100 for people just to see the API?
Steve Ballmer: That's good but it's not quite there yet. That sounds like those Member's Only jackets that weren't really "members only" and anyone with a bennie could pick one up. I mean when I was an up and coming star in this company I bought one and thought that it was a mark of success and then there I was in McDonald's ordering my daily seven quarter pounders with cheese and this fucking teenager has a Members Only jacket on. And so I ask him what club he's a member of that he thinks he can wear this piece of clothing around and he laughs and says 'Dude, it's 2005, every thrift store in the world sells these for $5, it's like, ironic, you know, hipster' and so then I just reach over the counter to strangle the last breath out of his
Executive #3: *AHEM* Wellllll, we could actually make this "members only" and send out invitations to participate in the release of the Windows 8 SDK.
Steve Ballmer: YES! That's what I'm talkin' about. That's the kind of innovation and vision this company needs! You just won the income of this dumbass over here
Executive #1: What?! You can't do that!
Steve Ballmer: Oh I can. In fact, fuck it, it's retroactive for this fiscal year. You'll get a bill in the mail. Cheer up, your taxes just got a whole lot easier.
*huffing and puffing, Ballmer drags a stack of chairs up to the conference table next to the shocked first executive*
Steve Ballmer:
'You know the problem with the other app stores?' (Score:5, Funny)
'Too many apps'.
Re:Chicken and egg (Score:5, Funny)
How does one make and release an app without having the SDK?
Immaculate Compilation