In the company's first-quarter earnings results (PDF) on Wednesday, Intel reported a 133% annual reduction in earnings per share. "Revenue dropped nearly 36% year over year to $11.7 billion," adds CNBC. From the report: In the first quarter, Intel swung to a net loss of $2.8 billion, or 66 cents per share, from a net profit of $8.1 billion, or $1.98 per share, last year. Excluding the impact of inventory restructuring, a recent change to employee stock options and other acquisition-related charges, Intel said it lost 4 cents a share, which was a narrower loss than analyst had expected. Revenue decreased to $11.7 billion from $18.4 billion a year ago.

It's the fifth consecutive quarter of falling sales for the semiconductor giant and the second consecutive quarter of losses. It's also Intel's largest quarterly loss of all time, beating out the fourth quarter of 2017, when it lost $687 million. Intel hopes that by 2026 that it can manufacture chips as advanced as those made by TSMC in Taiwan, and it can compete for custom work like Apple's A-series chips in iPhones. Intel said on Thursday it was still on track to hit that goal.

Intel's Client Computing group, which includes the chips that power the majority of desktop and laptop Windows PCs, reported $5.8 billion in revenue, down 38% on an annual basis. Intel's server chip division, under its Data Center and AI segment suffered an even worse decline, falling 39% to $3.7 billion. Its smallest full line of business, Network and Edge, posted $1.5 billion in sales, down 30% from the same time last year. One bright spot was Mobileye, which went public last year but is still controlled by Intel. Mobileye makes systems and software for self-driving cars, and reported 16% sales growth to $458 million.

Microsoft will no longer manufacture mice, keyboards, and webcams that are Microsoft-branded. Instead, Microsoft is now focusing on its Surface-branded PC accessories, which include mice, keyboards, pens, and more. From a report: It brings an end to the legacy of Microsoft-branded PC hardware after the company first launched its first mouse in 1983 and bundled it with Microsoft Word and Notepad. "Going forward, we are focusing on our Windows PC accessories portfolio under the Surface brand," says Dan Laycock, senior communications manager at Microsoft, in a statement to The Verge. "We will continue to offer a range of Surface branded PC Accessories -- including mice, keyboards, pens, docks, adaptive accessories, and more. Existing Microsoft branded PC accessories like mice, keyboards, and webcams will continue to be sold in existing markets at existing sell-in prices while supplies last."

In early April with the start of previews for "Windows Frontline" -- a service that provides a single license for frontline employees to use up to three Cloud PCs, Microsoft floated the idea that businesses should buy fewer PCs. The Register reports: The "Frontline" name hints at its purpose: Microsoft thinks this license will benefit organizations that employ shift workers in roles like customer support or healthcare. Microsoft imagines shift workers will log on for eight hours, then the next worker on duty will do likewise, and advances this as a fairer way to charge than assuming cloud PCs are used 24x7. To burnish that argument, Microsoft's launch material for Windows Frontline included research (PDF) by tech sustainability consultancy Px3 that tries to answer the question "Can modern work applications and endpoints abate end user computing greenhouse gas emissions and drive climate action?" The answer is "Yes," when one considers cloudy PCs to be "modern endpoints."

The research reaches that conclusion with analysis of the energy consumption of desktop computers, laptops, tablets, and thin clients, compared to the impact of running a Cloud PC. The research also considers bring your own PC plans that see business fund the acquisition of PCs that their staff use for personal and employment purposes, meaning fewer devices need to be summoned into existence and fewer resources are consumed because users operate one machine instead of two. Px3 instead imagines that end users and their sole device to access a Windows365 Cloud PC when they're on the clock. Doing so would mean corporate PC replacement cycles could stretch to eight years!

Readers will not be surprised that the research found the combination of Windows365 and a bring your own PC plan has significantly lower environmental impact and is therefore a jolly good idea. The research's concluding paragraph states "it is reasonable to state that modern work applications and endpoint computers not only abate GHG emissions, they are perhaps critical to securing a sustainable future." That's perhaps a little overblown but the point is made: slowing consumption is a good idea and it's now possible to turn down the speed of the PC upgrade treadmill.

Microsoft is heading further down the path of advertising its own services in Windows 11, with different ads now popping up in the Start menu. From a report: To be precise, this is Windows 11 preview build 23435, which was just released to the Dev channel. As Microsoft puts it: "We are continuing the exploration of badging on the Start menu with several new treatments for users logging in with local user accounts to highlight the benefits of signing in with a Microsoft account (MSA)." So, the translation of this is that 'badging' is essentially advertising ('badgering' would perhaps be more accurate), and it's something we've recently seen with Windows 11 urging users to perform a cloud backup (in OneDrive).

In this new preview build, the prodding stick is being employed to nudge those who haven't enlisted for a Microsoft Account (who remain using a local account) into signing up for an MSA. Compared to the previous cloud backup prompt on the Start menu, it's even clearer that this is advertising because it's fully selling the benefits of having a Microsoft account. For example, Microsoft tells you how hooking your Windows 11 installation into an MSA will ensure that your PC is kept backed up and more secure, or that it'll keep your settings synced across multiple devices.

Bleeping Computer warned this week about compromised web sites "that display fake Google Chrome automatic update errors that distribute malware to unaware visitors." The campaign has been underway since November 2022, and according to NTT's security analyst Rintaro Koike, it shifted up a gear after February 2023, expanding its targeting scope to cover users who speak Japanese, Korean, and Spanish. BleepingComputer has found numerous sites hacked in this malware distribution campaign, including adult sites, blogs, news sites, and online stores...

If a targeted visitor browses the site, the scripts will display a fake Google Chrome error screen stating that an automatic update that is required to continue browsing the site failed to install. "An error occurred in Chrome automatic update. Please install the update package manually later, or wait for the next automatic update," reads the fake Chrome error message. The scripts will then automatically download a ZIP file called 'release.zip' that is disguised as a Chrome update the user should install.

However, this ZIP file contains a Monero miner that will utilize the device's CPU resources to mine cryptocurrency for the threat actors. Upon launch, the malware copies itself to C:\Program Files\Google\Chrome as "updater.exe" and then launches a legitimate executable to perform process injection and run straight from memory. According to VirusTotal, the malware uses the "BYOVD" (bring your own vulnerable driver) technique to exploit a vulnerability in the legitimate WinRing0x64.sys to gain SYSTEM privileges on the device.

The miner persists by adding scheduled tasks and performing Registry modifications while excluding itself from Windows Defender. Additionally, it stops Windows Update and disrupts the communication of security products with their servers by modifying the IP addresses of the latter in the HOSTS file. This hinders updates and threat detection and may even disable an AV altogether.

The stock market, real estate and cryptocurrencies did poorly in 2022, but the global luxury goods market grew 20 percent. People may have had less, but they spent more on fine arts and collectibles that serve no function except to provide pleasure. From a report: The culture is bursting with new material -- every day, thousands of new books are published and 100,000 new songs are released on Spotify -- but the old stuff offers a sweeter emotional payoff for many. It could be tapes or posters or pictures or comics or coins or sports cards or memorabilia. It might be from their childhood or the childhood they never had, or it might merely express a longing to be anywhere but 2023. The common element is this: People like to own a thing from a thing they love. For Mr. Carlson and millions like him, the nostalgia factory is working overtime.

When Mr. Carlson first began to look for sealed VHS cassettes, they were considered so much plastic trash. "Back to the Future," "The Goonies," "Blade Runner," were about $20 each on eBay. He put them on a shelf, little windows into his past, and started an Instagram account called Rare and Sealed. Then tapes began to get scarcer and much more expensive. People trapped at home had lots of money to spend during the pandemic. But it was more than that. Objects with a bit of history have an obvious attraction in a high-tech world. The current cultural tumult, with its boom in fake images, endless arguments over everything and now the debut of imperious A.I. chatbots, increases the appeal of things that can't be plugged in. At the same time, advances in technology mean it is ever easier to buy expensive things online. Bids at auctions routinely reach tens, even hundreds, of thousands of dollars.

Andrew Cunningham writes via Ars Technica: Microsoft is aware of the problems running Windows on the Steam Deck and other similar handheld Windows PCs, and at least some developers inside the company have spent time thinking of ways to address them. That's the thrust of a leaked presentation (posted in two parts by Twitter user _h0x0d_) about a new "Handheld Mode" for Windows, developed as part of an internal Microsoft hackathon in September 2022.

As presented, Handheld Mode includes several components: a new first-time setup screen that simplifies driver installation and setup; an improved touchscreen keyboard that fits better on a 7-inch screen and can be controlled Xbox-style with the built-in buttons and joysticks; a simplified Nintendo Switch-esque game launcher; and improved OS-wide controller support thanks to the open source Steamdeck Windows Controller Driver (SWICD) project. The presentation also calls for other changes to Windows' default behaviors, like always opening apps in full-screen mode when in Handheld Mode, better UI scaling for small screens, and "mapping of controls to common Windows functions."

An anonymous reader writes: Windows users don't like it when Microsoft changes long-used and familiar functions in its OS, so altering something that's been the same for 28 years is always going to bring controversy. Nevertheless, it seems that the Redmond firm is planning on changing the Print Screen button into a key that opens the Windows 11 Snipping Tool. The Print Screen button has performed the same function in the Windows operating system since Windows 95: taking a screenshot of the current screen and copying it to the clipboard, usually so it can be edited in another program. But Windows Latest discovered that Microsoft is changing the default function of the Print Screen key in Windows 11. In the Windows 11 Beta preview builds 22621.1546 and 22624.1546, hitting the key will open the Windows Snipping Tool, Windows' built-in screenshotting tool that's currently accessed by pressing the Windows logo Key + Shift + S.

An anonymous reader shares a report: Firefox has a reputation of being something of a resource hog, even among modern browsers. But it might not be entirely earned, because it looks like a CPU bug affecting Firefox users on Windows was actually the fault of Windows Defender. The latest update to the ubiquitous security tool addresses the issue, and should result in measurably lower CPU usage for the Windows version of Firefox. According to Mozilla senior software engineer Yannis Juglaret, the culprit was MsMpEng.exe, which you might recognize from your Task Manager. It handles the Real-Time protection feature that monitors web activity for malicious threats.

The bug was causing Firefox to call on the service much more frequently than comparable browsers like Chrome or Edge, resulting in notable CPU spikes. Said CPU spikes could reduce performance in other applications or affect a laptop's battery life. The issue was first reported on Mozilla's bug tracker system way back in 2018 and quickly assigned to the MsMpEng service, but some more recent and diligent documentation on the part of Juglaret resulted in more swift action from Microsoft's developers.

A filmmaker walks us through the reasons behind the 'dark cinematography' that's causing so many complaints. From a report: Take, for instance, Wes Craven's 1996 horror classic Scream -- a film often remarked on for just how lit everything in it is at all times. An early scene depicts protagonist Sidney Prescott embracing her boyfriend Billy Loomis in the wake of a terrifying home invasion and her near-death at the hands of a masked killer. After Sidney throws her arms around Billy, Craven cuts to a tight close-up on Billy's face, which is illuminated by a harsh, ominous, icy-cool light that telegraphs his sinister intentions. But where is that light coming from? The bedroom they're in has no lamps switched on. Could it be the moon? Hard to justify, as the only windows in the space are behind Billy, and the light we're staring at is so much brighter and closer than the moon could ever be. So what on Earth is that light?

The answer is, simply enough, nothing. Craven often didn't feel any real need to rationalize why a bright light would suddenly appear one second before disappearing again in the following shot. It's a purely stylistic choice, employed for that one moment to cast doubt on Billy's trustworthiness in the audience's mind. Itâ(TM)s an extremely stagey choice that fits neatly within the larger series' heightened, melodramatic style. Scream wouldn't really be Scream without it. The hyper-lit style was a staple of cinematography in American films during the '90s, and like all trends, it eventually fell out of fashion -- in this case, a few years after Scream hit theaters. The 2000s saw filmmakers embracing more directional, shadowy lighting styles, evoking a grittier, more "grounded" aesthetic while retaining a sense of classic Hollywood polish. The 2010s featured another huge shift in style, this time toward hyper-naturalism. Even broad, big-budget blockbusters like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -- Part 1 embraced a look torn straight from indie cinema. Not only are the lights in that film always motivated, they're realistic. Where earlier films might have used the presence of the moon or a table lamp to justify much brighter lighting, movies like Deathly Hallows, Interstellar, and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes let the light of a lamp simply look like a lamp.

While Chrome 112 just shipped this week and Chrome 113 only in beta, there is already a big reason to look forward to that next Chrome web browser release: Google is finally ready to ship WebGPU support. From a report: WebGPU provides the next-generation high performance 3D graphics API for the web. With next month's Chrome 113 stable release, the plan is to have WebGPU available out-of-the-box for this new web graphics API. Though in that version Google is limiting it to ChromeOS, macOS, and Windows... Yes, Google says other platforms like Linux will see their roll-out later in the year. The WebGPU API is more akin to Direct3D 12, Vulkan, and Metal compared with the existing WebGL being derived from OpenGL (ES). From Google's blog post: WebGPU is a new API for the web, which exposes modern hardware capabilities and allows rendering and computation operations on a GPU, similar to Direct3D 12, Metal, and Vulkan. Unlike the WebGL family of APIs, WebGPU offers access to more advanced GPU features and provides first-class support for general computations on the GPU. The API is designed with the web platform in mind, featuring an idiomatic JavaScript API, integration with promises, support for importing videos, and a polished developer experience with great error messages.

This initial release of WebGPU serves as a building block for future updates and enhancements. The API will offer more advanced graphics features, and developers are encouraged to send requests for additional features. The Chrome team also plans to provide deeper access to shader cores for even more machine learning optimizations and additional ergonomics in WGSL, the WebGPU Shading Language.

eFile.com, an IRS-authorized e-file software service provider used by many for filing their tax returns, has been caught serving JavaScript malware. BleepingComputer reports: eFile.com was caught serving malware, as spotted by multiple users and researchers. The malicious JavaScript file in question is called 'popper.js'. The development comes at a crucial time when U.S. taxpayers are wrapping up their IRS tax returns before the April 18th due date. BleepingComputer can confirm, the malicious JavaScript file 'popper.js' was being loaded by almost every page of eFile.com, at least up until April 1st. As of today, the file is no longer seen serving the malicious code.

On March 17th, a Reddit thread surfaced where multiple eFile.com users suspected the website was "hijacked." At the time, the website showed an SSL error message that, some suspected, was fake and indicative of a hack. Turns out that's indeed the case. [...] The malicious JavaScript file 'update.js', further attempts to prompt users to download next stage payload, depending on whether they are using Chrome [update.exe - VirusTotal] or Firefox [installer.exe - VirusTotal]. Antivirus products have already started flagging these executables as trojans.

BleepingComputer has independently confirmed these binaries establish a connection to a Tokyo-based IP address, 47.245.6.91, that appears to be hosted with Alibaba. The same IP also hosts the illicit domain, infoamanewonliag[.]online associated with this incident. Security research group, MalwareHunterTeam further analyzed these binaries, and stated that these contain Windows botnets written in PHP -- a fact that the research group mocked. Additionally, the group called out eFile.com for leaving the malicious code on its website for weeks: "So, the website of [efile.com]... got compromised at least around middle of March & still not cleaned," writes MalwareHunterTeam.

Google is bringing Android's "Nearby Share" feature to the desktop with a new Windows app. Google says the new program will make sharing between Windows and Android easier, letting you send files over in just a few clicks and taps. From a report: Google's Nearby Share has been built into Android for a few years now and allows you to locally transfer files over Wi-Fi, with the initial device-pairing happening over Bluetooth. Nearby share has been kind of tough to use in real life, since most people share files over the Internet. And for personal use, most people only have one Android device, their phone, so there has been nothing to share files with. A ton of Android users have Windows PCs, though, so for many this will be the first time Nearby Share has an actual use. Using the app is easy. Just download it from the Android website and click a few "next" buttons in the installer. You need a 64-bit Windows PC (not ARM, ironically) with Bluetooth and Wi-Fi. From there you can easily share by dragging and dropping on Windows or by using the Android "share" button and hitting "Nearby Share." You have the option of signing in to the Windows app or not. If you don't you'll need to manually approve every transaction on both the phone and PC. If you sign in, you can set up auto-accept from yourself, anyone in your contacts, or the probably not advisable "everyone" option.

The Tor Project, the organization behind the anonymous network and browser, is helping launch a privacy-focused browser that's made to connect to a VPN instead of a decentralized onion network. From a report: It's called the Mullvad browser, named after the Mullvad VPN company it's partnered with on the project, and it's available for Windows, Mac, or Linux. The Mullvad browser's main goal is to make it harder for advertisers and other companies to track you across the internet. It does this by working to reduce your browser's "fingerprint," a term that describes all the metadata that sites can collect to uniquely identify your device.

A YouTuber has published a video where he tricks ChatGPT into generating usable Windows 95 activation keys. Tom's Hardware reports: After asking Open AI's chatbot directly for Windows 95 keys, he received an expected reasoned refusal. YouTuber Enderman then asked the same thing but from a different angle. The result was a success which was somewhat limited by ChatGPT's ability to process natural language requests into formulas. [...] Some of the tested results were checked by attempting to activate a fresh Windows 95 install in a virtual machine. While the keys passed a casual inspection, it turns out that only about 1-in-30 keys seem to work as expected.

So what is the problem with these keys? Enderman complains that "the only issue keeping ChatGPT from successfully generating valid Windows 95 keys almost every attempt is the fact that it can't count the sum of digits and it doesn't know divisibility." In the five-digit string divisible by seven section, the AI appears to provide a stream of random numbers that don't pass this simple mathematical test. The report adds: "[W]hile quizzing ChatGPT about key generating may be fun, it would have probably been more productive to manipulate the AI into writing a Python script to generate a conforming key or to DIY it."

Valve announced today that Steam will require Windows 10 or later on January 1, 2024. The reason? Google Chrome. PC Gamer reports: "The newest features in Steam rely on an embedded version of Google Chrome, which no longer functions on older versions of Windows," Valve's typically curt announcement reads. "In addition, future versions of Steam will require Windows feature and security updates only present in Windows 10 and above." January 1, 2024 is the day of doom for Steam on the old Windows versions. "After that date, the Steam Client will no longer run on those versions of Windows. In order to continue running Steam and any games or other products purchased through Steam, users will need to update to a more recent version of Windows."

Windows Central reports: According to my sources who are familiar with Microsoft's plans, the company is once again hard at work on a new project internally that's designed to modernize the Windows platform with many of the same innovations it was working on for Windows Core OS, but with a focus on native compatibility for legacy Win32 applications on devices where it makes sense. The project is codenamed CorePC and is designed to be a modular and customizable variant of Windows for Microsoft to leverage different form factors with. Not all Windows PCs need the full breadth of legacy Win32 app support, and CorePC will allow Microsoft to configure "editions" of Windows with varying levels of feature and app compatibility.

The big change with CorePC versus the current shipping version of Windows is that CorePC is state separated, just like Windows Core OS. State separation enables faster updates and a more secure platform via read-only partitions that are inaccessible to the user and third-party apps, just like on iPadOS or Android. [...] CorePC splits up the OS into multiple partitions, which is key to enabling faster OS updates. State separation also enables faster and more reliable system reset functionality, which is important for Chromebook compete devices in the education sector.

[...] My sources tell me CorePC will allow Microsoft to finally deliver a version of Windows that truly competes with Chromebooks in OS footprint, performance, and capabilities. [...] Microsoft is also working on a version of CorePC that meet the current feature set and capabilities of Windows desktop, but with state separation enabled for those faster OS updates and improved security benefits. The company is working on a compatibility layer codenamed Neon for legacy apps that require a shared state OS to function, too. Lastly, I hear that Microsoft is experimenting with a version of CorePC that's "silicon-optimized," designed to reduce legacy overhead, focus on AI capabilities, and vertically optimize hardware and software experiences in a way similar to that of Apple Silicon. Unsurprisingly, AI experiences are a key focus for Windows going into 2024.

Microsoft said Monday it is starting to roll out a faster new version of its Teams communication app for Windows to commercial clients enrolled in a preview program. CNBC reports: The software will become available to all customers later this year, and Microsoft also promises new versions of Teams for Mac and the web. The new version also includes enhancements meant to simplify Teams, building on the more than 400 feature updates Microsoft delivered last year, some of them meant to help Microsoft catch up with rivals. Competition comes from the likes of Cisco, Google, Salesforce-owned Slack and Zoom. Instead of displaying a kind of ribbon of functions for a chat, Teams will hide several options behind a plus sign that people can click on. It's a concept people have become accustomed to on other messaging applications. For example, in Slack, users can upload documents or set reminders after clicking on a plus sign under the area where they type messages.

During Teams video calls, the software will show every participant on screen in a box of the same size, rather than giving more space to participants with their cameras on. Until now, Teams calls have sometimes resembled Piet Mondrian paintings characterized by their squares and rectangles of varying sizes and colors. Microsoft is also adjusting Teams so that people who belong to multiple organizations can more easily stay on top of what's going on. "Instead of logging in and out of different tenants and accounts, you can now stay signed in across them all -- receiving notifications no matter which one you are currently using," [Jeff Teper, president of collaborative apps and platforms at Microsoft] wrote in a blog post.

Bill Gates calls the invention of AI "as fundamental as the creation of the microprocessor, the personal computer, the Internet, and the mobile phone," predicting "Entire industries will reorient around it" in an essay titled "The AI Age has Begun." In my lifetime, I've seen two demonstrations of technology that struck me as revolutionary. The first time was in 1980, when I was introduced to a graphical user interface — the forerunner of every modern operating system, including Windows.... The second big surprise came just last year. I'd been meeting with the team from OpenAI since 2016 and was impressed by their steady progress. In mid-2022, I was so excited about their work that I gave them a challenge: train an artificial intelligence to pass an Advanced Placement biology exam. Make it capable of answering questions that it hasn't been specifically trained for. (I picked AP Bio because the test is more than a simple regurgitation of scientific facts — it asks you to think critically about biology.) If you can do that, I said, then you'll have made a true breakthrough.

I thought the challenge would keep them busy for two or three years. They finished it in just a few months. In September, when I met with them again, I watched in awe as they asked GPT, their AI model, 60 multiple-choice questions from the AP Bio exam — and it got 59 of them right. Then it wrote outstanding answers to six open-ended questions from the exam. We had an outside expert score the test, and GPT got a 5 — the highest possible score, and the equivalent to getting an A or A+ in a college-level biology course. Once it had aced the test, we asked it a non-scientific question: "What do you say to a father with a sick child?" It wrote a thoughtful answer that was probably better than most of us in the room would have given. The whole experience was stunning.

I knew I had just seen the most important advance in technology since the graphical user interface.
Some predictions from Gates:

• "Eventually your main way of controlling a computer will no longer be pointing and clicking or tapping on menus and dialogue boxes. Instead, you'll be able to write a request in plain English...."

• "Advances in AI will enable the creation of a personal agent... It will see your latest emails, know about the meetings you attend, read what you read, and read the things you don't want to bother with."

• "I think in the next five to 10 years, AI-driven software will finally deliver on the promise of revolutionizing the way people teach and learn. It will know your interests and your learning style so it can tailor content that will keep you engaged. It will measure your understanding, notice when you're losing interest, and understand what kind of motivation you respond to. It will give immediate feedback."

• "AIs will dramatically accelerate the rate of medical breakthroughs. The amount of data in biology is very large, and it's hard for humans to keep track of all the ways that complex biological systems work. There is already software that can look at this data, infer what the pathways are, search for targets on pathogens, and design drugs accordingly. Some companies are working on cancer drugs that were developed this way."

• AI will "help health-care workers make the most of their time by taking care of certain tasks for them — things like filing insurance claims, dealing with paperwork, and drafting notes from a doctor's visit. I expect that there will be a lot of innovation in this area.... AIs will even give patients the ability to do basic triage, get advice about how to deal with health problems, and decide whether they need to seek treatment."

"With the recent attention on ChatGPT and OpenAI's release of their APIs, many developers have developed clients for modern platforms to talk to this super smart AI chatbot," writes maker/retro coding enthusiast yeokm1 . "However I'm pretty sure almost nobody has written one for a vintage platform like MS-DOS."

They share a blog post with all the details — including footage of their client ultimately running on a vintage IBM PC from 1984 (with a black and orange monitor and those big, boxy keys). "3.5 years ago, I wrote a Slack client to run on Windows 3.1," the blog post explains. "I thought to try something different this time and develop for an even older platform as a challenge."

One challenge was just finding a networking API for DOS. But everything came together, with the ChatGPT-for-DOS app written using Visual Studio Code text editor (testing on a virtual machine running DOS 6.22), parsing the JSON output from OpenAI's Chat Completion API. "And before you ask, I did not use ChatGPT for help to code this app in any way," the blog post concludes. But after the app was working, he used it to ask ChatGPT how one would build such an app — and ChatGPT erroneously suggested breezily that he just try accessing OpenAI's Python API from the DOS command line.

"What is the AI smoking...?"