Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names

Jamie points out this interesting article about how hard it is for programmers to get names right. Since software ultimately is used by and for humans, and we humans are pretty tightly linked to our names (whatever the language, spelling, or orthography), this is a big deal. This piece notes some of the ways that names get mishandled, and suggests rules of thumb (in the form of anti-suggestions) to encourage programmers to handle names more gracefully.

Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[h4rr4r]

Who the hell has numbers in there name?

Rip out the vowels

[jimmydevice]

and let god sort them out...

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[Anonymous Coward]

3Jane Tessier-Ashpool, for one.

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[Khakionion]

homonyms?

Hey, learn a little tolerance, bud.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[Kitkoan]

HAL 9000 [wikipedia.org]

Re:I've been dealing with this for years.

[Graff]

I prefer the story of this mom [xkcd.com].

Re:Rip out the vowels

[bkpark]

and let god sort them out...

If written Hebrew is any indication, God doesn't bother with vowels either, apparently.

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[Anonymous Coward]

I met that guy once. He's a fucking douchebag. Wouldn't do anything I told him.

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[PopeRatzo]

Who the hell has numbers in there name?

Well, for starters, Thurston B. Howell, III. Malcolm X, and Jimmy Two Times.

Re:As the author of RFC 2100...

[patio11]

After Reddit got done with the site yesterday, I decided "Sure, why not upgrade to Wordpress 3.0. I'll just turn off caching for a little while and..."

Re:Slashdotted already?

[RenQuanta]

Not so... back in the day, such a slashdotting was quite regular. Surely you remember that

Yeah, I might, if my memory weren't failing with age. ;-)

Re:As the author of RFC 2100...

[pushf popf]

I found the article to be contrived and pointless.

Yes, there are people and entities that do not fit into a normal name slot in a database, and no, I don't care at all because it hasn't been a problem for anything I've written in the last thrity years. When someone pops up and says "My name is this thing I drew on the sidewalk using chipmunk poop, and it doesn't fit in your database", I'll say "Yes, you're right it doesn't, then go have a beer.

You can't handle every edge case in the universe because you'll never actually release anything.

Programmers hate my real name

[SexyKellyOsbourne]

My first name: "where 1=1 "
My last name: "'; drop table users; --"

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[sonamchauhan]

And King James III

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[aiht]

What about Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson?
Nah, I guess that doesn't count 'cause it's written as a word.

Re:Irish need not log in?

[kenj0418]

You've probably compiled a lengthly list of sites vulnerable to SQL-injection. I'm sure you could sell that to someone somewhere to compensate you for your pain and suffering.

Re:Article makes wrong assumption about software.

[canajin56]

So, you shouldn't deploy software that doesn't, as the retarded article says, properly handle people with names that are over 65,000 characters long, where some portions are case sensitive, so if that part is lowercase instead of upper, that's a different name. But other parts are case insensitive, so its still the same name even in all caps. Oh, did I also mention that some of the letters in the name aren't part of any character set, so they can't even be typed in the first place? Because the article says that assuming names can even be text at all is wrong and your software is broken if you made that stupid assumption. (See Prince) PS, that person with the 65 thousand letter long name? He has 8,000 aliases and needs to enter all of them, better hope you allow that many aliases. Also, there is a huge subset of his name in common with a friend of his, but they are not related, it is sheer coincidence, you better not assume relation just because only two people in the world have the same last few hundred words of their name in common! Also, his brother has no name. Not, like his name is "No name" or he goes by "The artist formerly known as Prince", as in, his name is just the empty string, so your software better fucking not have name as a required field!

Re:Article makes wrong assumption about software.

[Draek]

You're not a programmer, are you?

Oh, don't worry, I can tell.

Re:Irish need not log in?

[shutdown -p now]

Help me Slashdot, you're my only hope.

Do you think they'd let you change your legal name to something like "O';DROP TABLE users"? If so, you should be all set.

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[deniable]

Yep, there's rampant homophonia around here.

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[Kitkoan]

What about Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson?

A tragic accident happened, and now he's Arthur 'No Sheds' Jackson. Very tragic.

Re:As the author of RFC 2100...

[Anonymous Coward]

If you program like you talk, you'll never ship anyway, because it'll never compile.

Unexpected EOF in String constant:

"Yes, you're right it doesn't, then go have a beer.

You can't handle every edge case in the universe because you'll never actually release anything.

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[Anonymous Coward]

Johnny 5

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[nacturation]

What about Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson?

A tragic accident happened, and now he's Arthur 'No Sheds' Jackson. Very tragic.

Last I heard he was living next to No Shed Sherlock.

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[Kitkoan]

If you are a guy (not an unreasonable assumption on /.), I think it's really strange that online forums are suggesting you the name "MaryBeth131" What were your parents thinking?

Maybe they were listening to 'A Boy Named Sue'?

Not just programmers or computers

[zill]

This issue is pretty much universal. Even outside the binary world people still silly assumption about people's names.

For example, numerous people have raised objections about my signature. They always give me bullshit complaints like "Sir, that is not legible." or "um... that's not your name." or even "Did you just draw a penis on the dotted line?".

My signature does not have to be legible.
My signature does not have to be my name.
My signature does not have to contain my name.
My signature does not have to contain any name.
My signature does not have to be in the English language.
My signature does not have to be in any human language.
My signature does not have to consist of meaningful symbols.
I swear if I hear one more complaint about my signature I will carry around a portable photo printer to render goatse as my signature:

"Yes, my signature is an 600 ppi out-stretched anus. Deal with it. The law says that any mark that I make is a legally valid signature and you have to recognize it as such. You either sign the mortgage or I'm going to the next bank."

Re:I don't know what the complaint is about?

[Anonymous Coward]

A database MUST treat all of these names the same: McClean, MacClean, MCLean, Mc Clean, Mac Clean. McCleen, ...

I assume you left out a "noot" in that sentence? I think there are quite a few people that will kindly (or maybe not-so-kindly) explain why "Mc" and "Mac" are noot the same.

fixed that

Re:I don't know what the complaint is about?

[fishexe]

A database MUST treat all of these names the same: McClean, MacClean, MCLean, Mc Clean, Mac Clean. McCleen, ...

I assume you left out a "not" in that sentence? I think there are quite a few people that will kindly (or maybe not-so-kindly) explain why "Mc" and "Mac" are not the same.

Yeah, one goes in front of 'Donald's' and the other goes in front of 'beth'.

Re:Article text

[feepness]

Nice rules. Still wouldn't handle my name [youtube.com].

Re:Article makes wrong assumption about software.

[Concerned Onlooker]

"Software doesn't have to be perfect out of the shoot."

Are you saying software is like a bullet? Or perhaps you meant chute.

Re:Article text

[JaredOfEuropa]

Who complained? The parents? If so, the only proper response would have been: "Well, what did you expect, numbnuts?"

Re:Sounds like people need to fix thier names

[Hognoxious]

Without it he'd get three offtopic mods, one overrated, and two replies saying [citation needed]

Re:I don't know what the complaint is about?

[bickerdyke]

You could end up with one or more bruises if you get it wrong and then insist that "well, they're the same anyway".

Isn't that a general risk when dealing with scotsmen? :-)

But where does the difference with the missing 'a' come from?

My surname ...

[OneSmartFellow]

.. is Hfuhruhur-Uumellmahaye you insensitive clod !

Re:As the author of RFC 2100...

[Maxo-Texas]

One of the interesting problems a friend of mine in the food industry deals with is duplicate social security numbers combined with duplicate first and last names.

At some restaurants every one of the half dozen servers as the same first and last name.

Oh.. and sometimes their social security numbers are not consistent from week to week either.

Re:I don't know what the complaint is about?

[Bigjeff5]

Because no one ever automated the process of filling out web-forms right?

Pffft, the idea is absurd! You'd need a computer to do that, and what spammer has a computer?

Oh, right. Yeah, all of them. My bad.

What a coincidence!

[valkenar]

So is mine!