Oracle's Ellison Vows "Most Comprehensive Cloud On Earth" 78
CWmike writes "Oracle CEO Larry Ellison declared the company is ready to offer 'the most comprehensive cloud on the planet Earth,' during a webcast event on Wednesday. 'It's been a long time coming,' Ellison said of the Oracle Public Cloud, which encompasses Oracle's suite of Fusion Applications delivered as both SaaS (software as a service) and PaaS (platform as a service) features, including the Java Cloud Service and Database Cloud Service. It's also the home of Oracle Social Network, the company's foray into Facebook-like collaboration tools for enterprises. Wednesday's event — and Twitter (where his first tweet is a gem) — also provided Ellison with an opportunity to tout what he called Oracle Public Cloud's many advantages over rivals such as SAP and Salesforce.com, as well as to engage in some of his traditional competitive trash talk."
What's he going to call it? (Score:5, Funny)
The "rain cloud"?
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How about the tear cloud?
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I gots sunshiiiiiiine, on a cloudy day
When the web is dow-own, I got the month of May
I hear you say, what can make me feel this way?
Local! Local! Local! Talking 'bout STORAGE!
LOCAL!
(apologies to The Temptations)
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The "undryable cloud"?
But hey why are we doing the work of Oracle ads team? let's see what they come it up with.
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OoyA
"Oracle Owns Your Ass"
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Should've added "Big" to the beginning.
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The "rain cloud"?
Given their pricing model, Operation Vacu-Suck is fitting. Anything less would be downright disrespectful to Larry's greed.
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A cloud right on the earth (surface) is called "fog".
Re:What's he going to call it? (Score:5, Funny)
yeah .. the huge one that blots out what's left of the Sun (pun intended) ..
Bah! (Score:1)
I am for 100% natural clouds!
Ellison's Cload Dream (Score:1, Troll)
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+1 low effort cloadsourced astroturf.
Re:Ellison's Cload Dream (Score:4, Funny)
Larry Ellison has been talking about the cloud for years he has openly said the client / server configuration is stupid.
Is this the same Larry Ellison who said that PCs were doomed and the future was client-server models with thin clients - especially his Network Computer?
Don't you guys all reply on your Oracle NCs at the same time, now...
Oracle Social Network (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Oracle Social Network (Score:5, Insightful)
Also knowing Oracle's licensing model.
You buy a license per friend you add
You pay per photo upload
You also pay per click when friends click on your photo
You get an allocated number of status updates a month, and after that allocation you pay per message.
You also need to buy Premium support in case your account gets hijacked.
If you want to move to another social network, you need to pay Oracle to return your data to you.
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more licensing (Score:2)
It will run X86_64 software, but the licenses will cost 4 times as much as running SPARC software.
And the kicker:
The developers will all flee to another company and fork the project once enough momentum has been gained to impose a draconian license change
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The Oracle Social Network piece seems pretty solid, but some people think the configuration might be a little difficult (until they pass their Oracle cert tests).
Here's the sample SCLINIT.ORA (it should be "social-init.ora" but damn that 8+3 filename convention):
FRIEND_LIST_LISTENER = /mongolia/otrar/)
(FRIEND_LIST =
(FRIEND_DESC =
(GLOBAL_FRIENDNAME = GENGHIS.KHAN)
(FRIEND_HOME =
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Don't forget that when you have any application that wants to use the Oracle Social Network, you have to reconfigure your tnsnames.ora file.
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The very word "cloud" is beginning to piss me off. And this just pushes it over the edge. I already hear tech ignorant MBA types blabbering on about cloud this and cloud that now that Oracle is involved its just going to reach a crescendo.
Remember that there's sunshine behind every cloud. Well, except at night, of course. Or during lunar eclipses. Or when seen from above. But otherwise.
This too shall pass. No fad or bandwagon lasts forever, thankfully. And in this case, all it takes is one company being badly burned by problems that are unique to or exposed by clouds.
In my day we just called it the internet, meh
No, it's different. In a cloud service, you don't know or care where your software runs, or what it runs on.
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"In a cloud service, you don't know or care where your software runs, or what it runs on."
Sounds like a perfect way for businesses to fly above the Laws. Hmmm... perhaps we need a torrent/magnet-cloud...
That reminds me of something... (Score:2)
Most Comprehensive Cloud On Earth
At a summit of political and military leaders from around the world, unanimous approval is given to a plan code-named "Operation Dark Storm [wikipedia.org]", which aims to cut the machines off from the sun, their primary energy source. The plan is executed in 2095, with high altitude bombers dispersing sky-darkening nanomachines into the air, while the human armies simultaneously launch a ground offensive against the machine forces.
Another Oracle patent (Score:5, Insightful)
A cloud with no silver lining.
DevOps Borat got this covered. (Score:4, Funny)
source [twitter.com]
Link to the service itself (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Link to the service itself (Score:4, Funny)
"DINNER: The coppery taste you love, now in larger portions."
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Wait.. "comprehensive" is 3 applications + java platform + oracle DB? I don't think that word means what Ellison thinks it means.
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SAP bought Ariba (Score:5, Interesting)
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"Comprehensive Cloud" . . . Oxymoron . . . ? (Score:2)
Sound like a definite oxymoron to me. "Apprehensive Cloud" would be more fitting.
Cloud? (Score:2)
Cloud : A meaningless term that encompasses everything from network storage up to a fully virtualised system
By most of the industry definitions a desktop PC is a local single node cloud ...!
Put your data in the cloud, where the company hosting it can ransom it back to you
Run your business from the cloud, so if your internet connection goes down you have no business ....
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Cloud : A meaningless term that encompasses everything from network storage up to a fully virtualised system
By most of the industry definitions a desktop PC is a local single node cloud ...!
Ok. I'll bite. Enlighten us oh knowledgeable one. By who's definitions a desktop PC is a cloud? And how is the term meaningless?
Or are you raging on because you can't put that term into your CV?
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Ok. I'll bite. Enlighten us oh knowledgeable one. By who's definitions a desktop PC is a cloud?
And how is the term meaningless?
"Cloud" is a meme propogated virally. I doubt anyone has any clue who is responsible for the term or what it really means. In the process of propogation it has been abused, misused and redefined by everyone wishing to describe any service offered over a WAN as they all believe or assert it to be a critically important keyword that will bring interest and sales to their offerings.
I used to see it in network diagrams to show telco ATM/Frame cloud, Internet..etc as simply a resources outside of your adminis
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It will go through several iterations, just like SOA did.
Also, cloud isn't a meme it's a buzzword.
Virtualization hasn't been replaced by the term cloud neither has it changed it's meaning, with that you are mistaken.(There are some people that refer to virtualization as cloud, but those are mostly people that want to mock both terms)
I'm just waiting for someone to throw in "The cl
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Desktop PC - Run Apache Hadoop on it .... is this now a cloud computer? Or Not ....?
I don't want that term on my CV ... it is so nebulous it is meaningless ... my CV has real Specific Applications on it some of which are generally thought of as "Cloud" ...
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Desktop PC - Run Apache Hadoop on it .... is this now a cloud computer? Or Not ....?
Yeah.... Right.... Hadoop makes a desktop PC into a cloud.
Next time when you try to mock something you don't really understand, at least make an effort to know why it's bad.
my CV has real Specific Applications on it some of which are generally thought of as "Cloud"
Based on your first statement, I will keep my doubts.
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Don't worry "cloud" is just what Ellison likes to call litigation.
I dont like his idea.... (Score:2)
I prefer Harlan Ellison's Ideas instead.
Wake up Larry. The world hates you. (Score:1)
I know he's the type of person that surrounds himself with yes men and sycophants because he seems oblivious to the notion that the world hates him and his company.
Oracle's relationships with it's customers resembles a hostage situation more than anything else. I imagine an Oracle sales rep as a crazed gunman making ever wilder and arbitrary demands while keeping your servers and data hostage.
At some point in every company's life their core products become obsolete. The company either adapts or dies. When n
Now (Score:1)
The World's Most Comprehensive ... (Score:2)
"Cloud" is now officially dead (Score:2)
When Ahboracle jumps on board with crap like this you know it has peaked.
You insensitive clod! (Score:2)
I'm in Seattle. We already have widespread cloud coverage here.
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Yea, some of those leaked over here to the Tri-Cities. It's depressing, all this gray and rain. Will you take you clouds back? We don't like them over here.
In exchange, we'll gladly take that big yellow orb in the sky that frightens you so much whenever it sneaks into your area.
Thanks.
Ship's already sailed (Score:4, Informative)
Ya no (Score:1)
As long as none of them run Android (Score:2)
Oracle lost, but they have not been forgiven or forgotten. Good luck picking them up as future customers with your me-too-but-costs-ten-times-as-much cloud offering. Oh, and there are quite a few of them already, with literally millions more every day.
Most expensive cloud on earth (Score:2)
If you thought Oracle was not already cool enough just wait for the hosted grid version of rman and an even more incredibly "unbreakable" platform with the security record that makes Adobe look good.
Mr Ellison and crew always put a grin on my face ...how they are still in business with their outrageous pricing and dated technology I fear has a lot to do with massive government waste of our taxpayer dollars.
"Comprehensive" !!! Absolutely. (Score:2)
Sadly, Larry Ellison is no Harlan Ellison. Bye-bye, Oracle.
Sun, Cloud... (Score:2)
They just can't decide, can they?
I guess Blizzard should be worried.
Who else read this as.... (Score:2)
"Oracle's Ellison Most Comprehensive Clod On Earth"?
-- Terry
Cloud indeed (Score:2)
Well, the cloud he has cast over the computing industry in general seems fairly comprehensive.