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Oracle Hires Global Specialists To Explore Feasibility of Buying Accenture 63

Paul Kunert writes in an exclusive report via The Register: Oracle has hired global specialists to explore the feasibility of buying multi-billion dollar consultancy Accenture, sources have told us. The database giant has engaged a team of consultants to conduct due diligence to "explore the synergies that could be created if they [Oracle] bought Accenture lock stock and barrel," one source claimed. On top of the financial considerations, the consultants are evaluating the pros and cons including the potential impact on Oracle's wider channel. "While these things have a habit of fizzling out there are some fairly serious players around the table," a contact added. Another claimed the process was at an early stage. "If buying Accenture was a 100 meter race, Oracle is at the 10 to 15 meter stage now." [T]his buy would be an immensely bold, complicated and pricey move: NYSE-listed Accenture has a market cap of $77.5 billion, and shareholders will expect a premium offer. A deal would dwarf Oracle's $10 billion buy of PeopleSoft, its $7.4 billion deal for Sun Microsystems, and more recently, the $9.3 billion splashed on Netsuite. In buying Accenture, Oracle would be taking a leaf out of the mid-noughties handbook - when HP fatefully bought EDS and IBM acquired PWC to carve out a brighter future.
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Oracle Hires Global Specialists To Explore Feasibility of Buying Accenture

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  • for all parties.

    • by jonsmirl ( 114798 ) on Wednesday March 29, 2017 @09:10AM (#54134027) Homepage

      I can't begin to imagine the bills from a group of consultants evaluating a group of consultants. Is that billing squared?

      • by raymorris ( 2726007 ) on Wednesday March 29, 2017 @09:15AM (#54134051) Journal

        You know a consultant is worth every dime when they're going to "explore the synergies". That phrase makes me wonder - did they hire *actual* consultants or parodies?

        • by BenJeremy ( 181303 ) on Wednesday March 29, 2017 @09:50AM (#54134241)

          In the world of business executives, they've formalized "synergy" as having a real meaning - how can we use the excuse of merging facilities and people in such a way that we can justify cutting costs far deeper than what will support our current contracts or future business, in order to shore up stock prices int he short term (and collect out golden parachutes when it collapses... and after we've cashed out our own stock, of course).

          See: HPE spinning off former EDSers and the remainder of their enterprise folks to CSC in the form of "DXC Technology" - a company already stripped to the bone, driven by "synergies" and after the "spin-merge" is completed on April 1 (great day for it), they'll commence even more reductions in their workforce and more replacement of skilled, experienced labor in favor of recent college graduates (who will probably only stay for a year or two anyway). Oddly enough, these massive cuts to the rank-and-file workers is never accompanied by a similar slaughter of the upper-level management (which only becomes even more lop-sided)

          Basically, the moment two companies talk about a merger and "synergies", it is the start of the downward spiral for both (or at least formal acknowledgment).

          • Basically, the moment two companies talk about a merger and "synergies", it is the start of the downward spiral for both...

            I don't know anything about Accenture. As for Oracle, I'd be happy to see them circling the drain. Too bad Ellison would never go down with the ship though.

            • by Bob the Super Hamste ( 1152367 ) on Wednesday March 29, 2017 @02:18PM (#54136591) Homepage
              Accenture is basically a giant body shop of consultants and no skill cheap contractors. Their consultants will blow smoke up your ass harder than a fully loaded 2 stroke marine diesel and their contractors suck harder than a black hole with daddy issues. I have twice dealt with Accenture at customer sites and I have never met one who wasn't just wasting my valuable oxygen.
              • by mjwx ( 966435 )

                Accenture is basically a giant body shop of consultants and no skill cheap contractors. Their consultants will blow smoke up your ass harder than a fully loaded 2 stroke marine diesel and their contractors suck harder than a black hole with daddy issues. I have twice dealt with Accenture at customer sites and I have never met one who wasn't just wasting my valuable oxygen.

                Yes, but if anyone can find a way to make Accenture suck even worse, it's Oracle.

            • Accenture was the consulting arm of Arthur Andersen (which is an accounting firm). Consulting in accounting usually means how to structure contracts to minimize tax consequences.

        • by Kjella ( 173770 )

          You know a consultant is worth every dime when they're going to "explore the synergies". That phrase makes me wonder - did they hire *actual* consultants or parodies?

          Wait until he discovers Dilbert is not a parody but a documentary...

    • Just for once the only change in end user experience from an Oracle buyout will be the size of the bill. Normally they have to downgrade features to match their own shitty offerings, however, Accenture is already there.
    • by gweihir ( 88907 )

      I agree. Since a world without Oracle and Accenture would be a decidedly better world, I hope they do it though.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    just imagine the synergy of two companies peddling the same bullsh*t.

    • by Tablizer ( 95088 )

      just imagine the synergy of two companies peddling the same bullsh*t.

      The merge will be detected by LIGO.

  • by Anonymous Coward
    H1b reform will put Accenture out of business.
    • by Anonymous Coward

      Spot on.

      Not even Larry Ellison can stump the Trump.

      • Twenty-odd Freedom Caucus members was all it took to send Trump packing over health care. Maybe he was a great businessman (a debatable point), but as a political negotiator, he may be the worst the US has had since James Buchanan.

        • by gtall ( 79522 )

          The 20 odd is putting it a bit too quickly. To satisfy them they'd have to throw overboard the more moderate Republicans and the bill would still have gone down.

          And Trump isn't a businessman in the yuge sense of the word. He was not the CEO of a corporation, he was CEO (still is) of a Ma and Pa Kettle operation beholden to no one except the rubes who loaned him money, which appears to include some shady Russian characters who are the muscle behind Putin.

          • by creimer ( 824291 )

            To satisfy them they'd have to throw overboard the more moderate Republicans and the bill would still have gone down.

            The moderate Republicans already left in the last eight years. Only the extremists remain. A so called moderate today is just someone who is a shade less extremist than the next guy.

    • How cute. You actually think it's going to happen.

  • by bigdady92 ( 635263 ) on Wednesday March 29, 2017 @09:31AM (#54134123) Homepage
    Oracle: We want to hire you to tell us if buying this company is a good deal
    Me: Sounds like you want me to be a consultant...

    O: No no no Consultant is such a 90's term "Global Acquisition Specialist" is better.
    Me: ...and you want me to tell you if spending money on something is a good idea...

    O: Oh no, this has to be a SMART expenditure of capital! We can't be wasting Larry's cash that's reserved for a small Bohemian island on a Dud!
    Me:...even though purchasing something that is well known to be a horrible investment is a bad idea...

    O: You have to look at it TODAY not how it was THEN! Things change you know this!
    Me: ...and this purchase price will still be in the billions...

    O: That's only a few Oracle Database Enterprise licenses. Pocket change
    Me:..and you want to wrap this up in the next Quarter.

    O: Sooner the better, due diligence and all that.
    Me: I'll submit my invoices straight away starting with this conversation.

    O: CAPITAL! I knew we hired the right team!
    Me: <looks around at the empty chairs only person in the room>
  • by LordHighExecutioner ( 4245243 ) on Wednesday March 29, 2017 @09:43AM (#54134195)
    ...well known consulting firm Accenture announced that they signed an important agreement with an unspecified Silicon Valley company specialized in databases. Accenture will provide consultancy services for market research, and advices in the field of acquisition & merging. The amount of the agreement has not been disclosed.
  • by jfdavis668 ( 1414919 ) on Wednesday March 29, 2017 @09:43AM (#54134197)
    EDS was building the Navy-Marine Corps Internet, and woefully underestimated the scale of the project. They low bid thinking they would do so well they would earn all the contract incentive awards later to make up for it. Well, they didn't. It almost killed the company. Made them ripe picking for HP. Only thing was, now HP had to deal with EDS's problem. It didn't turn out as well as they thought. As long as Oracle understands Accenture's issues and problems right now, they should end up with a better deal than HP did.
  • Accenture is a big SAP implementer, and other rival software (Microsoft, salesforce.com).

  • ... the 50,000 Accenture employees that are actually paying attention just shat their pants...

    • by DeBaas ( 470886 )

      ... the 50,000 Accenture employees that are actually paying attention just shat their pants...

      No problem, 90% of them still wear diapers

  • Popcorn futures up 5% on the news.

  • This merger should make for a really fascinating corporation.

    While at it, why not merge with Monsanto, Halliburton, and Blackwater --- not as if their reputation/image can get any worse...

    (Oracle's reputation is well-known in these here parts. Accenture grew out of Andersen Consulting, a sister company to Arthur Andersen, accountants that didn't detect anything wrong w/Enron back in 00s).

  • Not every day that I read on Slashdot to find out that Oracle is planning to buy the parent company I work for indirectly via subcontractor. This should be fun. :/
  • When you scuttle a fleet of ships, typically you lash them all together, so that there are less likely to be floaters: Deadweight pulls other deadweight down. It is nice to see the ships lashing themselves together here, so they can all sink faster.
  • Doubling down on the failure is a bold move. ;)

  • The old comics are as relevant as ever. It's actually pretty funny to see how little has changed in the software consulting business.

    http://exposingevilempire.com/... [exposingevilempire.com]

    RIP James Sanchez

  • by ErichTheRed ( 39327 ) on Wednesday March 29, 2017 @03:05PM (#54137027)

    Maybe when the FTC gets hold of this merger, it'll be approved solely on the merits of "job creation." Let me explain...

    I've had the full experience of working for companies that hired Accenture and the other large management consulting firms over my career. Over the course of working with people, you get to talking. Almost every single client facing employee they have on-shore is a recent college graduate. These firms are structured very much like other professional services firms -- you need to be in them from the beginning of your career (unless they're hiring you for a limited skill set they can't offshore or teach to a new grad.) The consultancies want to get new hires before they've had a chance to learn any other company's "bad habits." As a result, they need a constant pipeline of fresh new college graduates, which could be touted as "job creation."

    My experience has been that Accenture and the like has a crack team of partners who bring in their A-Team senior consultants to sell the dream to executives. Once the contract is signed, the partners and the A-Team are replaced with a C-Team full of Joe/Jane Average clones. One of the other reasons they hire recent grads is the fact that all of them fly to client sites, then fly home on weekends, for most of the year. The on-site people are solely responsible for project managing, presenting PowerPoints, and collecting requirements. Any actual work that needs to be done is sent to India or other cheap "delivery centers." So, it makes sense -- you have a guaranteed employment sink for new grads with business degrees, and can point to it as "saving domestic jobs."

    One thing that would be strange is how Oracle would manage them. A funny thing I've heard from multiple Accenture employees is that there's an actual indoctrination session before they send you in front of clients. Because they're just getting raw graduates, absolutely everything is taught, such as how to dress, what language to use in front of customers, and a mini-MBA school. (I think this is why you see so many young-ish people in identical dark suits hanging out in airport lounges loudly discussing synergies on conference calls.) This would be an interesting clash with Oracle's sales culture, but it makes sense. They would have a ready resource to sell right along with their ERP software -- and there would be zero incentive whatsoever for Oracle to make the software implementable by end users. (This is SAP's MO by the way, Oracle is just stealing it.)

    • by Tablizer ( 95088 )

      Because they're just getting raw graduates, absolutely everything is taught, such as how to dress, what language to use in front of customers, and a mini-MBA school.

      It would be interesting to find leaked video of the courses. The snow-job lessons could be quite entertaining; a kind of Dilbert-based Cult.

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