MySQL Gets Functions in Java

Java Coward writes "Eric Herman and MySQL's Brian "Krow" Aker have released code to allow the DBMS MySQL to run Java natively inside of the database. The code allows users to write functions inside of the database that can be then used in SELECT/INSERT/UPDATE statements. So when will someone do Ruby?"

database language?

[Anonymous Coward]

So when will someone do Ruby?
Warning, engaging humor mode *puts on asbestos suit just in case*

After someone does perl and python ?

(notice that both of those languages, as well as tcl, are already included in the other free database project: postgres)

That link in your sig.

[DAldredge]

That is the most useless waste I time I have ever seen!

Now leave me alone as I am going to spend the next 2-3 hours playing with it. Really Cool.

Production Quality OpenSource!

[Anonymous Coward]

Yay, this project has finally hit Alpha 3 version 0.1, which means that it's the closest OpenSource project yet to a 1.0 release.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic, I just think it's hilarious that someone would post this implying that the code is anywhere near done. It's barely beyond a twinkle in some kids eye.

So when will someone do Ruby?

[Trigun]

Give me a bottle of scotch, a phone number, and cab fare.

And a camera.

Re:Keep this out.

[Anonymous Coward]

Bad enough that none of them know how to write queries properly so they bog down the servers.

Oh, come on, everyone knows mySQL doesn't support subqueries because they allow a lazy user to slow down the database. You're supposed to do simple queries against the database, and then JOIN the results in your C application. Anyone who can't write a safe, fast JOIN in C is just a bad programmer, and should not be using an enterprise-level RDBMS like mySQL. Go back to FileMaker, you SQLamers!

(This troll brought to you by mySQL AB, the folks who brought you other hard truths about database programming, such as "Transactions are for sloppy programmers" and "Any relational integrity checking you can do in the DBMS, you can do easier in your application." Remember: Only asshole DBAs believe all that Codd & Date "relational" bullshit.)

simple.

[flacco]

So when will someone do Ruby?

i will as soon as i can get her to drink this liter of vodka.

While we're at it...

[karmaflux]

I want MS-DOS debug embedded.

--F 200 L1000 0
--A CS:100
xxxx:0100 MOV AX,301
xxxx:0103 MOV BX,200
xxxx:0106 MOV CX,1
xxxx:0109 MOV DX,80
xxxx:010C INT 13
xxxx:010E INT 20
--G

BWAHAHAH