Perl Haiku Contest Winners Announced

prostoalex writes "The ActiveState Perl Haiku Poetry Contest has ended. The results are in and here's the page with all the entries." Here's the original announcement.

Kinda lame...

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought it was asking for code as actually Haiku, not just a little poem about Perl... that's kinda silly. Oh well.

Re:Kinda lame...

[rokzy]

click on the link on the LHS and you get the Haikus IN perl.

Re:Kinda lame...

[UberQwerty]

Really hard to tell if poems written IN perl obey the 5-7-5 rule, which is obnoxious, because you know at least half of their authors don't know about that rule. Lots of people think a haiku means "short-long-short" not 5-7-5.

Re:Kinda lame...

[AEton]

It's a common misconception that "haiku" means "5-7-5". This misconception is readily [wikipedia.org] cleared up [everything2.com] - see the second paragraph of the Wikipedia article in particular for a discussion, or the "How do you write a haiku?" part of the e2 writeup, which goes into detail in the distiction between Japanese haiku and English haiku and describes the innumerable subtle variations of the form.

That said, one of the best English haiku ever kind of abuses the system:

I told her and she
Was like, "oh, my god," and I
Was like, "oh, my god."

Re:Kinda lame...

[madpierre]

I thought it was asking for code as actually Haiku

If they did that how would the judges be able to *read*
and *make sense* of the entries? Face it perl code just
looks like a bunch of random punctuation. ;)

The "speshul" award:

[Trejkaz]

/usr/bin/perl
not # ! /bin/sh
no need to beat and bang.

7 syllables, then 8 syllables, then 6 syllables. This chap surely wins the innumerate idiot of the year award.

A Waste?

[Amsterdam Vallon]

These were cute when they first came out, but I kind of feel that people should spend more time enterprise-proofing their Open Source applications than crafting poetry into silly little code snippets that don't do anything of significance.

If Microsoft did this, you would make fun of them. But since it's Perl, apparently it's OK.

Meanwhile, we've got Firebird, which crashes every 10 page loads, we've got GCC, which pales in comparison to Intel's compiler, and Linux *still* isn't desktop-ready for the futur

Re:A Waste?

[Anonymous Coward]

If Microsoft did this

The winner would be:

What day is today?
Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Oh.
It's Releasepatchday.

Re:A Waste?

[highwindarea]

I can see where you're coming from but there's a big difference between writing a 3 line perl script and debugging thousands of lines compiler code.

I'm a fairly bad programmer, I wrote a perl haiku in about 10 minutes just for fun, in that time I wouldn't even be able to download the source for firebird, let alone

1. find a bug in the Firebird Bug Tracker

2. read through the mailing list etc. to check that nobody has patched it,

3.compiled the source, reproduced the bug, tested the limits of what makes it

Re:A Waste?

[Hognoxious]

but I kind of feel that people should spend more time enterprise-proofing their Open Source applications than crafting poetry into silly little code snippets that don't do anything of significance.

At least they don't expect you to pay them for it - unlike the M$ 'tards who embedded a flight sim in excel.

Hmmmm, Haikus.

[heironymouscoward]

Many perl haikus
Many Slashdot visitors
No response, it's down.

Re:Hmmmm, Haikus.

[Shut the fuck up!]

Mod parent funny
Mod this post minus one troll
Metamod unfair.

Haiku

[eyv]

First post whoo; I rule
Slashdot haiku should be next
Pointless post this

Why Not?

[seriv]

Perl Haiku pushes the limit of the excuse of "why not?" when it comes to wasting your time.

Re:Why Not?

[interiot]

Posting to Slashdot about how others are wasting time is probably worse.

(doh, wait a minute. don't tell anyone I posted this...)

This is the best one

[Illissius]

Name: John Cataldo
Haiku:
perl perl perl perl perl
perl perl perl perl perl perl perl
perl perl perl perl perl

Heh.

Re:This is the best one

[snake_dad]

I like the Dishonorable Mentions even better...

Name: Duane O'Brien
Haiku:
$my_args = shift;
system("gcc $my_args");
print "I prefer C\n";

Re:This is the best one

[madpierre]

sed s/perl/spam/g [that haiku]

an improvement i think you'll find. :)

Re:This is the best one

[Jodiamonds]

I wrote the original, and I do like that one too. =)

Slashdot Haiku

[PatrickThomson]

I cannot create
a haiku in time for the
first post. Woe is me.

-1, redundant

[LBArrettAnderson]

Here's the original announcement.

oh thanks michael. that one is a lot better than the first link in the article.

Re:-1, redundant

[rokzy]

he saw the link, then typed it out for the benefit of IE users.

wait...

Here's a haiku for you!

[Anonymous Coward]

Let poets write poems
Let coders write code
Stay your path

Re:Here's a haiku for you!

[gentlewizard]

coders are poets;
code, strict as any sonnet
compilers, judges

Re:Here's a haiku for you!

[Haeleth]

sonnets are constrained
not by syntax but by form
show me rhyming perl

You asked for it

[lxs]

first attempt at rhyming perl

#!/usr/bin/perl
print "fit for a duke or an earl";

while(10 == 5)
{print"This code is alive!";}

# and if that will not fly,
try {system "ls"} or die;

(OK so I cheated a little, see if you can do better)

Re:Here's a haiku for you!

[tverbeek]

But what about code poets [codepoets.org]?

haikus and spam

[bstil]

Of course, no discussion of haikus and computers would be relevant these days without mentioning SPAM...
Haiku'da Been a Spam Filter [wired.com]

Re:haikus and spam

[apankrat]

Both habeas [habeas.com] and bonded-sender [bondedsender.com] are the stupidiest antispam ideas only beaten by this [cashramspam.com] marvel. How can one expect spammers in non-US countries to abide US copyright rules is beyond me .. especially given that a half of the spam is sent from spoofed emails using hijacked machines or through open relays.

Re:haikus and spam

[Hognoxious]

*Sigh* I can't read Wired articles. They're filled with too many buzzwords and 1990s-speak

Agreed. It is to a proper technology publication what GQ & Loaded are to real pr0n.

while skimming... my fav

[Anonymous Coward]

I liked this one:

Name: Albert Braun
Haiku:

my coworker thinks
perl is something to laugh at
it is not, smartass

Abuzar Chaudhary

[spazoid12]

Abuzar Chaudhary entered ten thousand now her PM is mad

Hey! That's me!!! Give me feedback!

[Abuzar]

Wow, that's me! Looks like I really did submit the most [15]! My very first haikus :)

People, please give me constructive feedback, I've posted my entries at: http://abuzar.com [abuzar.com]

Also, I'm looking for geek girls for a Toronto-based women and trans reading/art event. Come read/perform about Perl/Linux/Free Technology at Pussy Pen: http://pussypen.org [pussypen.org]

hmmm

[re-Verse]

i try to code perl
but i am very stupid
divide by zero

Haiku, the hacker connection.

[Dr. Evil]

Haiku is 31337
Or so Neil Stephenson wrote
So posers do Haiku

No good in English
Haiku is for Japaneese
In English it is...

Bad.

python

[xenostar]

a tear leaves my eye because perl will never be as cool as python

Re:python

[xankar]

Silly slashdotter
You forgot to make your post
Into "Plain Old Text"

Re:python

[MikeCT]

whitespace was left out
a bad idea in python
also in haiku

Perl haiku from a procrastinating non-entrant

[LinuxParanoid]

I wrote a couple haikus, tweaked them a bit, and then figured I'd look at the options again before submitting them. Ah well, too late. I'll submit them to you the Slashdot readership instead. Maybe I can get a Tshirt from CmdrTaco or another 1000 ad-free page-views? Lord knows I don't need the karma. .

.

As words from my lips,
so Perl flies from my fingers -
Ecstatic coding!
.

.

From God to Larry,
"Be fruitiful and multiply!"
Perl coders went forth.

.

--LP

Re:Perl haiku from a procrastinating non-entrant

[Abuzar]

Awesome. Should have submitted it, but maybe you were being true to Perl by being "Lazy"? :)

I only had a few hours to learn how to write haikus and submit mine (feedback welcome! http://abuzar.com [abuzar.com]). I read a paper by Sharon Hopkins saying that haikus have a reference to weather, so maybe you want to include that in your haikus? Then again, I like your writing the way it is and I'm not really sure how important the reference to weather is :)

Why?

[Onikuma]

I just don't get it. What is this obsession of Geeks and Haiku?

Re:Why?

[Onikuma]

i suppose i should have inclided some line breaks in there...

I just don't get it.
What is this obsession of
Geeks and Haiku?

Re:Why?

[fpga_guy]

This, we call Haiku?
Algorithmic poetry:
Basho would loathe us

Re:Why?

[Onikuma]

Hmm... I think you're right. I was never very good at counting syllables. I can tell you that at the time, I was thinking "Geeks" was 2 syllables, but I guess I was wrong. I'd change the last line to "Geeks and their haiku"

Re:Why?

[kfg]

Damn if I know, dude.
It may well be the challenge;
Geeks are funny sorts.

KFG

Re:Why?

[fpga_guy]

if banal haiku
is a linguistic challenge
retarded you are

Re:Why?

[Erik Hensema]

What is an haiku anyway? All I can see are three lines without rhime or rithm, probably intermixed with some 'wise' words.

Re:Why?

[e-Motion]

I just don't get it. What is this obsession of Geeks and Haiku?

Slashdot and Haikus:
A match, like Spring and flowers.
You must be new here.

My favorite was...

[inode_buddha]

fp.pl? (Score:5, Funny)
by CptChipJew (301983) on Thursday January 22, @11:24PM
(#8062958)
(Monday August 25, @03:56AM)

open(heart_to_perl);
content-type: haiku/firstpost;
or die "i fail it";

IMHO, he shoulda won. I was ROFL till the next day after seeing that one.

A real haiku

[Anonymous Coward]

My name is Chandeep
IT pro from Bangalore
I have your job now!

Terrible

[molotovcD]

These are terrible haikus... these people should stick to programming, not poetry. It makes me cringe just thinking about them...

Re:Terrible

[segmond]

LOL, I thought I was the only one that noticed... but then again what do you expect from people that write ugly code? :) Now I wonder if python programmers had a haiku contest if their's will be nicer.

No.

[DAldredge]

No, because every last one of the python haikus would be about how much better it is than perl.

What is it about python and ruby that requires some people to talk about how great it is every 15 seconds, even if it doesn't apply to the situation at hand?

Re:No.

[jrockway]

Because it's the only language they know, and they want you to bow to them for it. If you know a lot of programming languages, then you don't have to be a zealot for one. You can use the right one for the job. Perl is the right programming language for quite a few jobs, however :)

Re:No.

[madpierre]

...12...13...14...Python and Ruby. Much better than perl.
1...2...3...

Re:Terrible

[madpierre]

... or even Ruby. It is after all Japanese. :)

My Thoughts

[Sideshow Coward]

Read the article.
Was not that interesting.
Now, time for some porn.

Re: Haiku

[bencvt]

+5 Funny please Even though this haiku sucks I'm a karma whore

Re: Haiku

[Shut the fuck up!]

Preview button there
So you can review your post
And check for errors

Ironic

[bXTr]

Although I like Perl,
I am beginning to like
Python even more.

An honest Haiku

[Diesel Dave]

Perl's syntax screams out
"Kill me now, kill me quickly"
I use Python now

Re:An honest Haiku

[Diesel Dave]

This is a better ending:

Perl's syntax screams out
"Kill me now, kill me quickly"
Use Python instead

Re:An honest Haiku

[madpierre]

Name: Steve Joiner
Haiku:

I write code in Perl,
Noone else understands it.
Job security!


Dear Steve
Your job has been outsourced to Indian programmers.
We can actually understand their clear concise code.
Have your desk clear by Monday.

Yours faithfully
Human Resources

Semi-colon!=perl

[Tango42]

Most of the "in perl" haiku's just have semi-colons at the end of each line... i'm not a perl expert but it looks like few of them would compile... and almost none of them are in any way clever (putting the actual haiku in print statements is just stupid). Who picked the winners, anyway? There are much better ones there...

My favorite:

[TheTranceFan]

By Duane O'Brien

searching for treasure
swimming deep beneath the C
i'm diving for perl

Re:My favorite:

[immanis]

You have totally made my day. Thanks! I thought this was my best one.

more haiku

[potpie]

Haiku article. So many haiku replies. So predictable.

My 5-7-5 yo

[mao che minh]

Perl flame wars erupt
Socially inept coders
Yep, this is Slashdot

My favorite web 404 message

[moonbeam]

You step in the stream
But the water has moved on
The page is not here

Winning was huge highpoint for me.

[immanis]

One of my entries won 3rd place in the 'Written In Perl' category. I flipped out when I saw I had actually won. I figured the 'brute force of brainwashing/pestering the judges' was, at best, worth a mild chuckle. And I certainly thought all of my others were better. But I'm not one to argue.

I've been going on and on about it since Monday. Mostly because for me, it it means I have now unmistakably crossed the point of no return. I can no longer deny I am a geek. I can no longer even pretend to. But It's ok, I have come to terms.

Haiku story, yay

[Zakabog]

This is so much fun
Haiku story on slashdot
Now we are poets

Server side scripting

[ultrabot]

the neophyte wrote it in perl
said the birds wouldn't return next spring
it was a long winter

A Haiku weeps

[Lucky Kevin]

Many Haikus on Slashdot
Cannot reply in any prose
It must mach the others

Yay

[Ironix]

I didn't win, but at least I'm in the list!

old perl releases
grave security issue
buffer overruns

!perl

[Pirogoeth]

"Perl is t3h R0XX0RZ!"
"f00, PHP kicks perls a$$!"
The flame wars begin...

how about a slashdot haiku contest?

[verch]

goatse.cx is down
But I still have hot grits
down my pants

first post!
the root of all evil
moderate down

innovative site
but then they sold out
stock now worthless

captain neal
I always vote for him
polls are silly

Re:how about a slashdot haiku contest?

[tilk]

You meant Cowboy Neal
Better re-read your posting
Before submitting

Seasonal Theme

[jeeves1914]

According to

http://www.toyomasu.com/haiku/

and other sources which currently escape me, all modern haiku MUST have a seasonal theme, i.e. cherry blossoms for spring. So the vast majority of the entries (not to mention the /. replies) are not actual haikus.

What does he think perls written in?

[madpierre]

Name: Roberto Nozaki
Haiku:

Need no C, no VB
'cause my precious PERL
I have with me

Can you not see
without good old c
up shit creek you would be

Haiku

[Bender Unit 22]

Haiku, I have never been able to see what so special about that.

Haiku for Perl flamewars

[axxackall]

Perl code - cannot read after writing; Slashdot - cannot write after reading; Haiku - cannot read and write.

Re:Haiku for Perl flamewars

[axxackall]

Perl code - cannot read after writing;
Slashdot - cannot write after reading;
Haiku - cannot read and write.

On a second thought:

Perl code - cannot read after writing;
Slashdot - cannot mod after writing;
Haiku - cannot talk after writing.

Need help parsing:

[PhotoGuy]

no less can I say;
require strict, close attention
while you ... write haiku

I understand why the last two are valid Perl, but can someone explain to me how that first line parses up properly??

Re:Need help parsing:

[Abuzar]

"no" is the opposite of use in that it unimports the meaning of anything exported by use. It also has the same prototype:

no Module VERSION LIST

so it can basically take any number of parameters without complaining.

Now, when I run the haiku, I get this error message, so technically it would seem that it isn't a valid program:

Undefined format "haiku" called at ./haiku.pl line 3.

Geeks and humor

[tverbeek]

My favorite thing about this contest is the fact that they judges not only appreciated the humor of the verse to which they gave "dishonorable mention", but they even published it. Geeks have a (not entirely undeserved) reputation for humorless fanaticism, and it's nice to see that set aside.

Unreadable code,
Why would anyone use it?
Learn a better way.

spam poems

[acesuares]

Over at orkut, in the 'spam' community, there's some nice spam poems.

Here's one:

</labial></conant>
</gunk></wart></monochromati c>
</posthumous></snowshoe>

my comment:

it had to be done
my dear. haiku composed
of bogus end-tags

Haiku generating code

[castrox]

Shouldn't be too hard to smack together some bytes to generate haikus, should it? They're not very logical pieces of text, right? Just a few simple rules.

I in fact wonder how many did just that :-)

Re:Haiku generating code

[immanis]

Sadly, or perhaps not, this was exactly what I did after the contest. Problem is the existing perl modules to break words into syllables aren't very robust. I've found a couple other people who've done similar things, but all of the syllable code so far is a little thin.

I'm getting a decent hit rate on mine so far, and teaching it as I go. It just takes a word list and randomizes a haiku out of it. Which can be more interesting than it sounds.

comedy selects
petitioned rabbits oft ox
forgetting picket

he

perl , o perl

[SenorFluffyPants]

array of hashes
of an array of hashes;
makes me so happy!

Haiku = Fun

[mattyohe]

http://www.haikupostcardfoundation.com

Perl 6 Haiku

[Ars-Fartsica]

Is Larry still sick?
Where is the Parrot VM?
Perl 6 is vapor.

haiku info central

[jdkane]

A lot of info about haikus [toyomasu.com] anyways, with examples ... for anybody who needs a memory refresher like me, or who is being introduced to them for the first time.

14-year-old haikus

[ClintJCL]

My haikus. [vt.edu] Not perl though, sorry.

Re:The Winner:

[Mod Me God]

Your entry, like the winning entry, does not contain a reference to a season or season related factor, and therefore cannot be considered Haiku, rather faux-couture-haiku.